tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85564713417625729992024-03-19T02:10:06.283-07:00Women of a certain ageWomen sharing with other women how to remain productive as they move successfully into retirement and "senior-citizen" statusMargarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-5288333195255385862011-07-14T11:09:00.000-07:002011-07-14T11:29:36.768-07:00Sanctuary<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXjz2UYrRKFJJYafhdoJDRe6_4DMUUxsNc8gqsmmxOz4NmGyJGXakuBzypMqExoU-56pCDUJIVfT7hC3NtFYfm8QLfkJax0w_1YG7iwIW6ypTWqPIA9N7DW17SF4zeCoQuU9eXoTjuHw4B/s1600/IMG_4231.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXjz2UYrRKFJJYafhdoJDRe6_4DMUUxsNc8gqsmmxOz4NmGyJGXakuBzypMqExoU-56pCDUJIVfT7hC3NtFYfm8QLfkJax0w_1YG7iwIW6ypTWqPIA9N7DW17SF4zeCoQuU9eXoTjuHw4B/s320/IMG_4231.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629273102439978722" /></a><br />Sitting on the screened-in back porch of my house makes me feel like a child sitting in a tree house. Situated one story above ground level, I can almost touch the leaves of the oak trees that embrace me on three sides. I am no longer a child. I am 65 years old and was lucky to find this house almost nine years ago. The house where I lived for 27 years prior to moving here was the home where I lived the hectic life of wife, mother of two sons, hard-working educator and active community citizen. After my divorce, I knew I had found the right house when I saw the back yard of this property. The abundance of trees in a natural wooded area that backed on my house gave me all the natural beauty and all the privacy that I needed. Unless a tree falls in a storm (as it did the first year I lived here) I have very little maintenance in the back of the house. Instead, I have a personal sanctuary for admiring the noble beauty of the tall stately oaks, tulip poplars and pine trees, a veritable nature preserve where squirrels chase each other in spirals around the trunks of the trees and birds sing to each other as they fly from branch to branch. The light in the trees changes as many times as there are hours in the day. Less than ½ mile from my porch are the Civil War battlefields that make this part of Virginia a celebrated and reverent reminder of the history of our country. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYeORwosgDzpdhzbvhFeMX1rNfJUZexlzIfbksofVx7khuREnbkp7mg178S81NjZ7cZSgl6rcjSFzcTKsm2atjC1_v7-c6OnwneI9oiNy_I0PVOTcUvywj6HifwnIkqXxU8ZiWZ_DqzUhK/s1600/IMG_4241.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYeORwosgDzpdhzbvhFeMX1rNfJUZexlzIfbksofVx7khuREnbkp7mg178S81NjZ7cZSgl6rcjSFzcTKsm2atjC1_v7-c6OnwneI9oiNy_I0PVOTcUvywj6HifwnIkqXxU8ZiWZ_DqzUhK/s320/IMG_4241.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629275756864706130" /></a><br />When I awoke this morning, I made myself a cup of tea and came out to sit on the porch with my Siamese cat Coco Chanel. The teak rocking chair in the outer corner of the porch is her favorite resting place. She is now 17 years old and doesn’t prance around like she used to do. Most of her time is spent sleeping but her ears still perk up at the sound of a bird or the sudden splashes of light as the rays of the morning sun move through the canopy of trees overhead. I am amazed at the change in temperature. Yesterday it was 98 degrees. After last night’s thunderstorm, this morning it is a brisk 68 degrees, forcing me to go back into the house to get a light wrap to cover my shoulders and bare arms. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX3shwJagX_Er031LZXR7xtgvv7mbxXZa4psKmlkxwj-6gfGpFb9Knetc7sgZ2Gg7sd5ECCK9_TKD0BH6vOkdbHGUaT-5rCA-hnepIUboOyCvNbWQUcpOupCcmPlKnj4uGmV0h0YCd5thH/s1600/IMG_4159.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX3shwJagX_Er031LZXR7xtgvv7mbxXZa4psKmlkxwj-6gfGpFb9Knetc7sgZ2Gg7sd5ECCK9_TKD0BH6vOkdbHGUaT-5rCA-hnepIUboOyCvNbWQUcpOupCcmPlKnj4uGmV0h0YCd5thH/s320/IMG_4159.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629276296066694002" /></a><br />For eight or nine months of the year, I make use of my humble perch in the woods. But the sweetest time is summer. In the distance I hear the steady humming of traffic from the nearby boulevard, as well as the slightly louder but not unpleasant sound of a lawn mower two houses away. The blowing of the train whistle reminds me that the larger world is passing through, making it easier for me to take off on unexpected adventures. It’s a peaceful way to spend the day, just close enough to hear the sounds of the town but secluded enough to feel protected and safe. Even the sound of the fire truck that I hear in the distance provides a sense of comfort despite the alarm it sounds. It reminds me that I am part of a community that is prepared for the emergencies that are part of everyday life.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBu0SW_XMBfJ7Iae9ShT5lhwSxreS-jHRpUkMLnPadxO3W6yPhhRlLWzJzde5MmyQ5Ok-qKcZYT33RuDBTyObldwNGggOazwrEOejhI4Bz1Qn3gpWN8PpjE-ZjP5CHCp40gwVaqXGWxEou/s1600/IMG_3862.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBu0SW_XMBfJ7Iae9ShT5lhwSxreS-jHRpUkMLnPadxO3W6yPhhRlLWzJzde5MmyQ5Ok-qKcZYT33RuDBTyObldwNGggOazwrEOejhI4Bz1Qn3gpWN8PpjE-ZjP5CHCp40gwVaqXGWxEou/s320/IMG_3862.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629273578713234866" /></a><br />I wonder how long I, like Coco Chanel, will be content to stay here and be enfolded in the security of my surroundings. I can already feel the pull of the hours passing. I have tasks to be accomplished today that will tear me from the peace and harmony which bless me this morning. Just as Coco moves from her perch on the rocking chair to join me on the soft cushions of my porch furniture, I feel the urge to reach out for the warmth and companionship of another. But I hesitate. I’m not sure if the presence of another being would add to or reduce the sense of peace that I feel. My Coco knows that she will get from me exactly what she needs—a stroke on the neck, a scratch on the back, and the warmth of a soft lap. If only we could count on that same sense of reassuring comfort and unconditional love from all those who touch our lives. Don’t we all yearn for companionship? But at what price?Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-25827693711189661862011-01-07T08:54:00.001-08:002011-01-07T09:32:22.677-08:00Friends<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9ph6wDcMZGY_70D_WCz_1q_LQwV0U37ZN6XsFZ0jBXfFUzSe5XYcmz-KK1jjga_Sd3bQxbnfvFWHZCA672D8vnvza6UzwNuY8aq0Fi2BFVnFrgPAx9oi0JXfPJgTPhy1g9t5IwMEyUiH/s1600/00386276.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 212px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559496147083009378" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9ph6wDcMZGY_70D_WCz_1q_LQwV0U37ZN6XsFZ0jBXfFUzSe5XYcmz-KK1jjga_Sd3bQxbnfvFWHZCA672D8vnvza6UzwNuY8aq0Fi2BFVnFrgPAx9oi0JXfPJgTPhy1g9t5IwMEyUiH/s320/00386276.jpg" /></a> My new year’s resolution this year is to be a better friend. There are advantages to living in one community for the majority of one’s adult life. One of these is the opportunity to develop friendships that span not only many years but also many aspects of our lives. In any community, there are hundreds of folks who make it a better place to live through every day large and small acts of friendship. For what is a community if not a place where people feel safe and welcome and valued? A friendship is a treasure that requires time, care, attention and nurturing. I can think of countless everyday actions that have strengthened the bonds that connect my friends with me, both when I was the recipient and when I was the giver.<br /><br />Through participation in a variety of civic and social opportunities, it is easy to develop multiple circles of friends. For example, I have my church friends, my professional friends, my parenting friends, my service organization friends, my gym friends, my reading club friends, my good neighbor friends, my fellow martini-sipping friends and my all-around funny, free spirit friends. I have friends whom I admire intensely for their good and charitable works in the community and I have friends with home I can laugh my head off and not be embarrassed if my laughter is too loud. I have friends who astound me with their wit and those who inspire me by their insight and compassion. I have been greatly influenced by friends who have supported me in my times of trial and who have allowed me to share in their own times of crisis as well as celebrate in their times of joy. In fact, I like to think that the person who I am today is the sum total of all my relationships and encounters.<br /><br />In addition to resolving to be a better friend, I think it is important to take the time to say thank you to friends who have been companions to me through so many phases of my life’s journey. For example, I have friends who have volunteered to pick me up at the train station or the airport; offered to pick up my mail while on a trip; come to my rescue and comforted me when my precious pet got loose in the neighborhood and went missing for 48 hours; understood when I had to bow out of a social engagement because I needed to care for an elderly parent; brought me hot soup when I was ill or sipped hot tea with me when I was grieving; helped me fix the leak in the bathroom sink; encouraged me to take risks and to follow my passions; walked with me; talked with me; shared my love of lectures, books, concerts, gardening, and classic films; sat with me when I had the blues and patiently waited until I came out of them, without judging or offering unsolicited advice; allowed me to share my deepest fears, joys, and confidences; invited me to join them in special activities that I otherwise might never get to experience; demonstrated their trust in me by asking for my help on a project or a problem; given me an honest opinion when I needed it; let me know tactfully and lovingly when my behavior was less than stellar.<br /><br />Along with me, consider yourself truly blessed if you can say that you have similar friends in your life. Then ask yourself if you are the friend that your friends need. Are you serving as your friends’ sounding board, trusted companion, confidant, and cheer-leader? Are you the friend in the examples above? I know I have lots of room for improvement and I thank all my friends for forgiving my shortcomings. I’ll try harder this year.<br /><br /></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-74889740344125136082010-12-01T14:41:00.001-08:002010-12-01T14:47:02.729-08:00My Reading Life: Time for the Pursuit of Personal Passions<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghUE3YJGe3MypRH8DUUjjTCvag_osJ9UiNb50ORulaSTY8_Vw2kWawUp7ogKqm9E9MNOR0e4Lvc6uVerZbYdhzOEofzArJOQ1F73KvGJlZXjVZF0PK9RYdUvvbcf1r-ZdrTQqdAgNCr8ef/s1600/The-Reader-Aka-Young-Woman-Reading-A-Book-small.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 137px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghUE3YJGe3MypRH8DUUjjTCvag_osJ9UiNb50ORulaSTY8_Vw2kWawUp7ogKqm9E9MNOR0e4Lvc6uVerZbYdhzOEofzArJOQ1F73KvGJlZXjVZF0PK9RYdUvvbcf1r-ZdrTQqdAgNCr8ef/s400/The-Reader-Aka-Young-Woman-Reading-A-Book-small.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545847886544554594" /></a><br /><br />When I think back upon my earliest years growing up in the small town of Shepherdstown, West Virginia, my most vivid memories are of walking with one of my sisters or my brother the three blocks to the town library. In the early fifties, parents could allow their children to walk unaccompanied without fear of abduction or another equally horrendous fear of parents today. I walked freely, carrying my borrowed treasures under my arm, taking in the happy sounds of the rippling brook that ran parallel to King Street, and looking forward to the new treasures I was sure to find in my beloved library.<br /><br />The library in Shepherdstown was located literally in the center of the small town with a population of just about one thousand people. Located at the intersection of the main street, German Street, so named for the original German settlers, and King Street, the library was directly across from the entrance to the small college in town, and sat right in the middle of King Street, so that all traffic had to go around the library, creating a miniature traffic circle, with the library in the middle of the circle. In my child’s eyes, the library had to be the most important building in town; otherwise, why would it occupy this most central spot? Upon entering what looked like a two story house, I experienced the feeling of being welcomed into the living room of a kind, generous neighbor whose doors were always open and who was willing to share of her riches with all who entered.<br /><br />This combined anticipation of adventure and discovery along with the very real sense of comfort and safety that I experienced inside the rooms of the library are the most likely source of my life-long love affair with reading. Books were my magic carpet. Through the avenues of hard-bound volumes of sheets of paper covered with words, sentences, poems and stories, I was able to venture beyond the borders of life as I knew it into the lives of people and places that inspired a great sense of curiosity and ambition that I may never have known otherwise. <br /><br />I still own a copy of my all-time favorite children’s book, <em>Madeline</em>. The opening lines of the story, <em>“In an old house in Paris, all covered with vines, lived twelve little girls, in two straight lines,” </em>along with the picture of those twelve little beds in the orphanage in Paris are forever engraved on my mind. As I grew older, I was drawn to read biographies. I remember in particular a series of orange hard bound biographies of famous people such as Helen Keller, Abraham Lincoln, Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett, Jane Adams and Marie Curie that made me think that I too could make some great contribution to the world. Then, I discovered the Nancy Drew series, about the strong-willed teenager who allowed me to join her in the world of mystery and intrigue. As a middle schooler and high schooler, my tastes inevitably changed. Does any girl forget her first reading of <em>Gone with the Wind?</em> Or <em>The Diary of Anne Frank?</em> In high school, I remember being one of the few students in my class who was excited to get a new reading assignment in English class. How could reading the story of Hester Prynne in <em>The Scarlet Letter</em> ever be considered as work, I wondered. <br /><br />Now, four decades later, in my retirement, I am in the position of being able to partake in the sheer luxury of reading whatever and whenever I please. Whether it be sitting on the chaise lounge on my back porch in the summertime listening to the chirping of the birds or the humming of the neighbor’s lawn mower, or curled up in the folds of a warm comforter in winter, reading affords me the opportunity to do two things I love at the same time, i.e., to immerse myself in a great story and to spend quality time with my 17-year-old Siamese cat.. Miss Coco is always right there in my lap, sometimes sitting directly on the pages of my book, or otherwise obstructing the line of vision for reading, requiring frequent cuddling and gentle readjusting of the seating arrangement in order for me to get to the end of an episode or chapter. <br /><br />In the past two years I have read dozens of books, mostly fiction. One of the many goals I set for myself in my retirement was to catch up on all the novels and movies that I had not had time to read or see while I was working full-time in a profession that demanded nearly as much time outside of the regular work-day as during the work-day. Why am I so passionate about my books? Is it the pure distraction and escapist pleasure derived from engaging with real or fictional characters who find themselves in any of a myriad of true to life conflicts or moral dilemmas which probe the depths of human nature? Or is it because the act of reading, and really engaging with a book, keeps the mind active, one of the most frequently cited secrets to fighting aging? It’s probably both, and then, the icing on the cake is the opportunity to follow up what some call a solitary pastime with a group of like-minded folks, in my book clubs, with lively discussions and sharing of reactions to the reading, therefore furthering the insights into the book and simultaneously, forging new friendships. <br /><br />I realize that everyone is not as enamored of reading as I am, but most of us have a secret passion that had to be set aside during the thirty or more years of working to earn a living. What was your passion? Have you taken advantage of this phase of your life to pursue a long-repressed pursuit? Or have you ventured out into new areas of self-discovery that you didn’t even know existed since your retirement? In either case, isn’t it great to have lived long enough to pursue these self-indulgent pleasures or equally creative new opportunities for self-discovery?Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-3680736746126130972010-10-31T09:59:00.000-07:002010-10-31T10:41:57.803-07:00Choices, choices!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjro1ZlzyujGeXIU2hsYoUQMTwMO1AQd_ai9Z2u53WwVz8MDhs8Hz0b9yjjFuzSYLL6Yuc5E6vWFLQSsZms95Dp9KdQK7Xqwb3Bh8T7vbBrbrP8yxxeM1p6OyhHWIWOVKB2hE-Q8zQABSI0/s1600/j0323763.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 99px; height: 107px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjro1ZlzyujGeXIU2hsYoUQMTwMO1AQd_ai9Z2u53WwVz8MDhs8Hz0b9yjjFuzSYLL6Yuc5E6vWFLQSsZms95Dp9KdQK7Xqwb3Bh8T7vbBrbrP8yxxeM1p6OyhHWIWOVKB2hE-Q8zQABSI0/s400/j0323763.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534266660739859490" /></a><br />It’s been longer than I’d like to admit since I wrote on my blog. We are all creatures of habit, and once we establish a habit or get out of a habit, it’s very hard to break a pattern, wouldn’t you agree?<br /><br />In August, I went back to work part-time. I am teaching two sections of French at the local university. With the number of hours I am required to be on campus plus the number of hours I spend in preparation for class, I no longer have the luxury of long expanses of time in which to ruminate, cogitate, reflect and write on what it means to be a retiree. I miss that luxury, but I keep telling myself that this is only a brief return to the world of work, and that soon enough, I will be back to my preferred schedule which means lots of time to read and write and study the craft of writing.<br /><br />The subject of this blog is retirement. For more and more of us, not only is the retirement age moving upward, but the desire and / or need to increase our monthly income is causing us to wonder if we shouldn’t work a few more years, add a few more dollars to our social security benefits and save a few more dollars for our inevitable retirement home expenses.<br /><br />I was offered a position that I thought I could handle without too much stress. In fact, it has been a pleasure to return to the classroom. I get a real kick out of teaching French and of seeing the light bulb go on when a student experiences an “aha” moment, and of also seeing them find out what fun it is to express oneself in another language. Recently, the lesson focused on expressions of surprise or disappointment. I loved it when they wanted to keep repeating idiomatic expressions such as “chapeau!” or “mince!” Literally, “chapeau” means “hat” and “mince” means “thin.” This led us into a great discussion of word origins and colloquial language, one of the many hidden benefits and joys of language study.<br /><br />Another anecdote about going back to work. I haven't been in the classroom for a few years and having easy access to instructional technology has been both fun and a challenge. My students laugh at me (lovingly, I think) when I accidentally use words like "typewriter" instead of "keyboard" or when I can't find the correct drop-down menu to change the size of the screen we are viewing. I tell them it's just another example of "life-long learning."<br /><br />I am definitely getting rewards, both tangible and intangible, for this decision to go back to work, but I am also very aware of the things I am giving up-- one more example of how everything in life boils down to choices. Choosing to do one thing means you are choosing to not do something else. I take decisions and choices very seriously. When I was young, I just went where life led me, taking whatever opportunities popped up for me. In my adult life, I have probably been too serious about this issue of making choices. I want to live my life deliberately and to know that for every decision I make, I have good justification. The gifts of life and time are too precious to squander. I have friends who get annoyed at my seriousness of purpose. I even annoy myself sometimes.<br /><br />In reality, life is a combination of choices and just plain old-fashioned luck—whether it be of the good or bad kind. No matter how hard we try to make good decisions, we can never fully see into the future and some of our best decisions can turn out to be our worst mistakes. But, we take these events and learn from them. Right?Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-73609388962702170732010-07-29T10:46:00.000-07:002010-07-29T12:05:38.525-07:00P. T.-- My New Favorite Place To Be: A Sign of Aging?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCycnDggxvVhiG0eVQhsMOsogkwaX1dqXtzqih0B5YcgIc7yUvZusruX0pns5cyLkZXiAfJnX3GHzigg_knEHg5KcDj55Za1Q_eGWQYdIZRXQEMVQ7kNRHfx2DwWU4lo_300RarT61Y-6/s1600/man+stretching.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCycnDggxvVhiG0eVQhsMOsogkwaX1dqXtzqih0B5YcgIc7yUvZusruX0pns5cyLkZXiAfJnX3GHzigg_knEHg5KcDj55Za1Q_eGWQYdIZRXQEMVQ7kNRHfx2DwWU4lo_300RarT61Y-6/s320/man+stretching.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499399234151332978" /></a> I am spending lots of time these days at the physical therapy office. I keep asking my therapist if my injuries are the result of wear and tear, i.e., aging, or if I injured myself in some way. He sort of squinches his eyes and starts talking real fast, partly avoiding the question and partly saying that it's a little of both. Although the majority of the patients in the PT office are "seniors," there are also a good number of young adults who are suffering sports injuries. Our bodies weren't meant to run at 100% for 100 years--at least that's what they tell me. The thought of developing a chronic condition which may limit my future activities is very troublesome to me. Is this just one more of the things we have to learn to accept as we age gracefully?<br /><br />I'm in the throes of bone spurs and achilles tendonitis, caused by inadequate stretching of my calf muscles, aka, the <em>gastrocnemius</em>, before walking. My friends and I always stretch before walking but somewhere along the way I must have forgotten this one really important combination of muscle and tendon. The lack of proper stretching has caused the Achilles tendon to pull on my heel bone, gradually tearing away calcium deposits and developing a bone spur. <br /><br />As I do my uniquely prescribed regimen of exercises for strenthening and stretching, I love to watch all the other clients there and guess what their injuries are. This is my third go-round in the experience of physical therapy. I have been diagnosed with frozen shoulder twice and a pinched sciatica nerve once. Those were back when I was much younger, say in my 50's. I have seen more ways to move the body and to manipulate joints and bones and muscles in all my visits to the PT office than I ever knew existed. Last week, when I saw a high school student athlete sliding back and forth on what looked like a very small ice-rink (in reality it was a very slick piece of some kind of synthetic fiber,) I prayed secretly that Scott would not say, "You're up next!" I'm sure I would have broken more bones, stretched more tendons, and torn more ligaments in the course of the exercise instead of healing any existing injuries. <br /><br />At first, as a patient, you think to yourself, "oh my gosh, everyone must be looking at me. I must look so silly with my butt up in the air like this!" But after three or four visits, you realize that everyone is focusing on his / her own stretches and not paying much attention to you. Or else they are just as embarrassed as you are and they are avoiding eye contact! So far, I have found everyone--patients and therapists and therapists' assistants--to be extremely pleasant and helpful. What a world of knowledge they possess. I am in awe everytime I hear a new muscle or body tissue mentioned. Actually, I am in awe of the human body. Having an injury, no matter how small, causes one to develop new respect for the complexity of the body that we call our own. <br /><br />The one part of the therapy session that is most pleasing <strong>(warning--true confessions ahead!)</strong> is when the therapist massages my ankle and calf. Even though it sometimes hurts, the pleasure of experiencing the sense of human touch is healing in itself. Plus, to speak quite frankly, I don't have much else going on in my life right now in the category of touching, so it's either from the therapist or my cat where I'm getting my strokes! (no pun intended)<br /><br />Right now my goals are to be able to walk moderate distances pain-free in Arizona and at the Grand Canyon in September. Wish me luck! I may not be particularly athletic or smart, but I am determined! <br /><br />Does anyone else have experience with bone spurs and achilles tendonitis? Tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel!Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-17212797558553773742010-07-24T15:22:00.000-07:002010-07-25T13:10:03.047-07:00Going Back to Work Redux<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrxmEglYWPNtc4gwE3F2wMaazRe-TgVdgU3ZzbTRPtZT2B1H4lr-txSE64P46bH0XR0W26YMH9GZ5tRXUvhkqxgpW4U39uM62MnqjtDTubWdDYGSQ-xTGgN2N0sg6cxfev_SWbnPZGwF6f/s1600/00426540.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrxmEglYWPNtc4gwE3F2wMaazRe-TgVdgU3ZzbTRPtZT2B1H4lr-txSE64P46bH0XR0W26YMH9GZ5tRXUvhkqxgpW4U39uM62MnqjtDTubWdDYGSQ-xTGgN2N0sg6cxfev_SWbnPZGwF6f/s200/00426540.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497608347059673842" /></a><br />Newsflash! Breaking news! Margaret is considering going back to work!<br /><br />Well, it’s only for six hours a week—but it’s teaching—and we all know that for every six hours of teaching, it is necessary to put in at least double the number of hours for preparation and grading of papers. Add in the mandatory office hours and we have roughly the equivalent of a half time job—20 hours a week, at the minimum. <br /><br />Some of you may be thinking to yourself right now, didn’t she say in an earlier posting that she would never go back to the work environment? Isn’t this the lady who preaches <em>ad nauseum</em> about finding out what makes you really happy and then doing it? Is this the same person who says “indulge yourself, you’ve earned it!” In my posting in March on the topic of returning to work, written after a brief three-week assignment in the public schools, I wrote the following:<br /><br />“ . . .I wouldn't trade my retirement for anything.” <br /><br />I also wrote, “. . . if you are considering a return to the work environment, I encourage you to think long and hard about your long term goals and the pro’s and con’s of giving up what you now have as a retiree.”<br /><br />I have not changed my mind about what I said then. I wouldn’t trade my retirement for anything. And I have carefully examined the pro's and con's of giving up the lovely wide-open schedule that I am now enjoying. <br /><br />First, the con's. Throughout these first two years of my retirement, I have embraced the joys of being the master of my own schedule and the thrill of spending a day doing nothing more challenging than doing some writing or reading, watching a classic movie on TCM and mowing the grass, if that’s what I chose. If some of the time was wasted, I figured that I had earned the right to do so. Nothing has made me happier than being able to wear jeans / shorts and a tee-shirt every day of the week. With this decision to return to a part-time teaching job, I will now have a schedule to adhere to. I won't be free to attend every lecture of the Elder Study Program that I have joined at the university. I will have to be more deliberate in planning times to go to the Y to get in my work-outs or walks with my girlfriends. I have thanked God every day for this two year respite from the pressures and stress of my full-time job. But now, I'm ready to take on the obligations of a slightly more rigid schedule because of the benefits that I see accompanying it. And, right now, it's only for one semester. If I don't like it, I won't do it the second semester. It's not a life or death decision. I like to think of it more as an “experiment in living.” This time last year I would not have been ready to take on this commitment. But now, I’m ready.<br /><br />My primary goal in retirement has been to practice the craft of writing. Along with my regular monthly activities such as reading clubs, church dinners for the homeless, and writing club, and my daily tasks such as gardening and exercise, the time required for teaching will definitely cut into my writing time. But in a paradoxical sort of way, it is possible that taking this time away from writing just might give me more of a sense of urgency and might make me apply myself a bit harder to my writing projects. I will explain this more later. <br /><br />The positive reasons for accepting this challenge are varied. I always loved teaching French. What I didn’t love were the bureaucratic hassles and all the non-instructionally-oriented paper work associated with the job. As an adjunct in a university, I think those two areas should be minimal to non-existent.<br /><br />In regard to my writing, how can this job be a positive? Truthfully, I have been disappointed in myself in the amount of writing that I have produced this year. In order to write well, one needs to spend time writing every day. Picture me and the computer and my imagination sitting together multiple hours every day. This is a rewarding but solitary way to spend a life. However, it is also true that writers need a rich variety of life experiences to provide ideas and inspiration for writing. This solitary vs. engaged lifestyle dilemma is one of the great contradictions of the writing vocation. Engagement is the juice which powers our writing--the energy source which fuels our production. This week, for example, I am super- charged and full of ideas for blog postings and for stories. I can’t help but wonder if it is because I just spent a very hectic two weeks helping to plan activities and entertain 60 French people who are visiting my town? Was it the break from writing that is giving me renewed energy?<br /><br />And, of course, there is always the issue of money. On my retirement pension, I have plenty of money to meet my daily needs and obligations. However, if I want to have my twenty-year-old wing-back chairs re-upholstered (which I am doing this month) or buy new furniture for the screened-in back porch (which I did in June) or take a nice trip (which I hope to do in the near future)—all of these diversions require that I supplement my income. <br /><br />Can life in the world of higher education be any harder or more frustrating than the world of public education K-12? I’ll let you know as the semester progresses how I feel about this decision.Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-17525237738924550252010-06-29T12:22:00.000-07:002010-06-29T14:26:32.628-07:00De-Cluttering: Saying good-bye to the old and HELLO to the new<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtuZ8RAADcPECtBLpY6U4ueNbMCQCISQ7eenteoskCY4FSPoKz2bHEt1052_Q6bQGdkC6vD8KICkCwuBokGG_UJ2sVjOWn0kSG08r36R9bCovmztBcCHWE051EUJNO54_X9dUAVpN4kmaa/s1600/clutter.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 134px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 160px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488303735246882530" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtuZ8RAADcPECtBLpY6U4ueNbMCQCISQ7eenteoskCY4FSPoKz2bHEt1052_Q6bQGdkC6vD8KICkCwuBokGG_UJ2sVjOWn0kSG08r36R9bCovmztBcCHWE051EUJNO54_X9dUAVpN4kmaa/s400/clutter.jpg" /></a> Who among us hasn't read one of the hundreds of articles in the media about the importance of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">de</span>-cluttering? In an age when everyone has accumulated too many possessions, it's the new trend to now get rid of those possessions. Ironic, isn't it?<br /><br />My husband and I lived in one house for 21 of our 27 years of marriage. Prior to settling down in that house, we had an active life of traveling and studying. Our dream house (circa 1935) was roomy and, to compensate for the small closets, came complete with a huge attic and a large basement. My husband spent years installing shelving in almost every room of the house. At that time, we had no reason or need to think about <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">de</span>-cluttering. If we needed more storage space, he just built more shelves. Our attic was full of treasures including unique items of clothing that we had accumulated from our travels--the harem outfit tailor-made for me in Bangkok, Thailand; the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">jalaba</span> that my husband bought when living in Lebanon; the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">lederhosen</span> and dirndl <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">kleid</span> that we bought and wore to German festivals, both in the US and in Germany--just to name a few. I had wigs that were fashionable in the 60's and 70's. I had my prom dress; my wedding dress; my "going-away" dress; my first grown-up slinky black cocktail dress--you get the picture. We had hippie clothes; <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">preppie</span> clothes; and later we added baby clothes to our storage trunks. In addition to the clothing from all the phases of our lives, the book shelves in the attic were crammed with books covering every aspect of French and German language and literature, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">thanks</span> to the years devoted to studying for Master's Degrees.<br /><br /><div><div><div>In the basement, wall-to-wall shelving was built into the tiny laundry room. On these shelves we stored a large collection of cookware, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">brassware</span>, fondue pots, candlesticks, wine dispensers, dishes, cake platters, pie pans, cookie cutters, jello molds, Mason jars for canning, soup tureens, crock pots, rice cookers--all items that we had purchased or that had <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">been</span> handed down to us over <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">e years</span> as our parents had done their own <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">de</span>-cluttering. Don't even get me started on the work room and all my husband's tools. One of the funniest things anyone ever said to me was on the day of the "walk-through" when the new buyer of my house asked me, "Did your husband have a thing for shelving?" He had never seen so many built-in shelves in his life. Little did he know that he would be needing them as he and his wife and two young children began their life together. I just smiled and said nothing, letting him wait to discover for himself how families tend to accumulate "stuff" during our lives.</div><br /><br /><div>The best and most motivational time to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">de</span>-clutter is when making a change of residence. The fewer belongings for the movers to move, the cheaper the move, right? I down-sized my residence in 2002. So, you're thinking, I got rid of most of those foreign items of clothing and those seldom-used pots and pans that were stored in the basement, right? Well, not exactly. I tried to sort through my possessions, but there were so many of them. And amidst my valiant attempt to give away books and clothing and kitchen ware, I found that there were things that I just couldn't bring myself to part with. These books and items of clothing represented important periods, even major turning-points, in my life. In a sense, they were part of me. To give them away was to take away part of who I am--or so I thought at the time.</div><br /><div>Fortunately, the house I was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">mov</span><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-error">ing</span> to had a large unfinished basement, just the place for storage. All I needed were the shelves. And by then, I no longer had the great <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">handy</span>-man husband to build them. Even though I made my best efforts at sorting through my possessions, I still needed to purchase 8 units of read-made shelving at Lowe's (five shelves per unit) to line the walls of one half of my basement. I have lived in my house for seven years now and still have two moving boxes labeled Kitchenware that I have never opened. Is that pitiful or what?</div><br /><div>Little by little, I am now going through my books, finding that I am ready to part with about half of the many editions of French masterpieces of literature that I read in graduate school as well as a good number of books I read in pursuit of my second Master's degree in education. I mean, do I really still need copies of School Law or Personnel Management? All of these give-away books have now been donated to the local library for their annual book sale. I have also managed to give a few of my nicer cocktail dresses to my daughter-in-law--but I'm still waiting for the right person and / or occasion to donate my dirndl. </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGnS_S653kKCkrZxSIkRwOZFm7CWbVASKmQezuuoM25aV7jDT2aiYCw74_9mquJJUD-1a-jgwrgKSqbSfda7qOdH9xuets5Bft7-GkPb3zPVntvG_NLhezLvI7mp8KFp_0bSPMtSbXY8w5/s1600/clutter+2.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 158px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 194px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488303887293612930" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGnS_S653kKCkrZxSIkRwOZFm7CWbVASKmQezuuoM25aV7jDT2aiYCw74_9mquJJUD-1a-jgwrgKSqbSfda7qOdH9xuets5Bft7-GkPb3zPVntvG_NLhezLvI7mp8KFp_0bSPMtSbXY8w5/s400/clutter+2.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Purging one's possessions is worthwhile not only for making a house a safer and neater place to live, it's also good for the soul. Divesting oneself of physical possessions leads to a higher level of "<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">de</span>-cluttering," i.e., a rethinking of priorities and how we want to spend our time, perhaps our most precious resource. De-cluttering is a symbolic way of moving on with our lives, and of saying "I still have lots of good things to happen to me and I am making space for the future." Michelle <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-error">Singletary</span>, financial columnist for the <u>Washington Post</u> wrote a review of the book by Gail <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-error">Blanke</span>, <u>Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life</u>. A brief overview of the books gives four basic rules to guide the reader in his/her "disengagement" process:</div><br /><div>Rule One: If the item, memory, job or even person is weighing you down, get rid of it.</div><br /><div>Rule Two: If the thing is not contributing something positive, let it go.</div><br /><div>Rule Three: If it takes you a long time to decide whether something needs to be tossed, throw it out.</div><br /><div>Rule Four: If you're afraid to throw out something, get rid of the fear.</div><br /><div>If none of this sage advice from Gail <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" class="blsp-spelling-error">Blanke</span> helps you, just ask yourself "If I would die tomorrow, what would my children do with all that stuff that was so <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_20" class="blsp-spelling-error">meaningful</span> to me but that has no meaning to them?" They are eventually going to toss it or give it to Goodwill anyway. Why not help them out a little? Happy tossing!</div></div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-64339676313700116952010-05-20T11:05:00.000-07:002010-05-20T11:37:42.935-07:00Celebrating the Blues: Mother's Day 2010<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMJZWdeYq2Z7-p7xYbQoMPfs3I6FsQXw4pjWi_qWRAdKurEcZnD3aF_1kC5cXxRCUag2upYYvUK48jCLG9OHaOJZLIEUpRwJ13B7bYCRYjgmWFdDzq_cZnhWsqluNN2pU8rYNxkAMzomG_/s1600/00000002.JPG"></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVrNSb_APP3A0eu0x1UdMwUUF4LNaRUUaJOAF1iANiTEXq2HreqyBMo3X1qaPHVkO0af6q6L-kOZuGtYjFcLve29P58ACB9PKW601vHF3LA8s9iO30LrwJVa28SiXeIP5w2jpjNM5ErumS/s1600/00000002.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 258px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473417138377165746" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVrNSb_APP3A0eu0x1UdMwUUF4LNaRUUaJOAF1iANiTEXq2HreqyBMo3X1qaPHVkO0af6q6L-kOZuGtYjFcLve29P58ACB9PKW601vHF3LA8s9iO30LrwJVa28SiXeIP5w2jpjNM5ErumS/s320/00000002.JPG" /></a> This year on Mother’s Day I had a slight case of the blues, due mainly to the thousands of miles that separate me from my adult children. But, I didn’t stay blue for long. In my 63 years of living (that's me second from the left, on my Dad's lap), I have learned several techniques for coping with the blues. The first is to put my thoughts to paper which usually leads me to my second coping mechanism which is clear thinking and the realization of how much I have to be thankful for and that I have no reason to be having a “pity party” as I call these periods of being down. When these strategies don’t work, I go out into the garden and exert my physical and emotional energies by digging up weeds, transplanting plants, mowing the grass or that most hated chore, spreading mulch.<br /><br />What I like about the writing process is that I never know where it will lead me. This past week, as I was writing and reminiscing about my mother, I recalled an event that turned out to be revealing not only of my mother’s personality, but when viewed from today’s perspective, a bit of my own, as in “am I becoming my mother?” And “is that a good thing or a bad thing?”<br /><br />Before I share the story, I need to give some background about my family and especially about my mother. In regard to both being a mother and having a mother, you could say that I fall into the ranks of the very fortunate. My children were born hale and healthy in mind and body; they grew up in a fine community; they had good opportunities for education; and as adults, they have grown to be kind, considerate men. My own mother was deeply devoted to her family. In fact, I was blessed to have a mother who for every day of my life up until her death at the age of 91, even when she was cranky and unable to care for herself, loved me unconditionally.<br /><br />In order to fully understand who my mother was, it is vital to understand the strength and depth of her belief in the importance of manners as a formative part of the character of a person. She ingrained in all of us how important it was to exhibit courtesy and respect to every one we dealt with. We learned this in various ways. One of the ways we were expected to show respect was to dress and act appropriately for different occasions. At church, you could be sure that all the Saville girls would be donning hats and gloves and that we would not be fidgeting in the church pew. When it came time for holidays or birthdays, and all the gifts had been opened, there was no question that all four children would spend the hours necessary to compose interesting and timely thank you notes to all those who had been generous enough to remember us. We were taught to observe the strictest Emily Post etiquette while dining (e.g., serve on the right; take away on the left); by dutifully serving punch and cookies at women’s club meetings which my mother occasionally hosted in our home; by always saying “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir;” and by participating in any number of community service organizations where we interacted with people of all ages and social backgrounds. Some people dismiss such an emphasis on manners as being nothing more than a superficial concern about appearances. With my mother, I think it went deeper than that and that she genuinely believed that all people were worthy of respect, kind words, and fair treatment.<br /><br />Another way we were taught to show respect was to willingly carry out any and all chores that would help our parents, our elders and our neighbors. My mom taught school from the time I turned six years old until her retirement, approximately 25 years in total. Combining the responsibilities of a full-time job with the parenting of four children, she became very good at delegating chores. She taught all of her daughters how to iron, vacuum, dust, wash dishes, sew and cook. Under the tutelage of my dad, my brother took care of the outside chores, mowing the yard and washing the car.<br /><br />When the time came for my parents to experience the “empty nest syndrome,” I know that my mother had her share of days being blue and wishing that her four children were closer to home. But Mom had her own recipe for fighting the blues. My mom always had a project spread out on the card table in the living room. She was continually getting “organized.” For the first ten years after her retirement from teaching, she became a passionate genealogist. She worked with her sister, who was six years her elder, to research our family roots and to create a collection of documents that she later had bound and gave to all of her children as gifts. After those first ten years, she tackled the family photos, dividing them into albums by themes. There was one album for each child and one for each trip she and my dad made, either on Elder Hostel trips to different universities in the US or to different cities and countries where family members were residing at the time. After the photos, her next project was to sort through all the correspondence that she had saved from her children from locations as diverse as Louisiana, Germany, France, Viet Nam, Alaska, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Texas and to divide the letters and store them in boxes, one for each of her four children. Finally, she took on the job of de-cluttering her basement, gradually giving away treasured pieces of china, family quilts, books and pieces of furniture or personal objects which over time have become family heirlooms. Thanks to all of these “projects,” each of us has in our homes today a plethora of artifacts of family history that are available to take us back in time whenever we feel the need-- letters, photos, genealogy books, the sleigh bells from my dad’s family farm, the pink cigar box from my mother’s father, and artwork that hung in prominent spots in my parents’ house.<br /><br />In all of these activities in which my mom demonstrated that she was a born archivist and an organizer extraordinaire, she was motivated by one passion, i.e., to maintain order and cohesion in the family. It paid off at the time of her death, and even before that, when she and my dad left their home to move to a continuing care facility. Dividing up the family possessions was made much simpler because she had already made her wishes known to all of the family members. In other words, she maintained control and order in the family, even after her death, an amazing feat.<br /><br />I never fully appreciated all of my mother’s efforts until much later in her life. There were times when I perceived her passion for perfection and order as annoying, going so far as to spark a small rebellion on my part when, at the age of 30, she was still reminding me to do this and that. In hindsight, I understand that this was her way of teaching us the importance of being a family and of sharing her hope that we would remain close to each other and be supportive of each other throughout our lives. I talked back to my mother only once in my life and it was on just this subject of telling me what I should and should not do. We usually came together as a family for the major holidays. One year at Easter, instead of going to my parents’ home, we decided to meet at a fine restaurant in the Washington, D.C., area, midway between all of our places of residence. There were at least ten of us seated at the long, elegantly-set table. Mom had just told me to not forget to send a birthday card to my 80 year-old aunt. When I did not respond to her, what I now recognize as a passive / aggressive behavior on my part, and she repeated her reminder, everyone at the table looked at me, stupefied and horrified by my abrupt and unkind outburst that she no longer needed to tell me how to behave, thank you very much. By some standards, this may seem incredibly mild as “back talk.” But for my family, it was paramount to slapping my mom in the face.<br /><br />The reason I find this particular story so significant is that only one month ago, I emailed both of my children to tell them that my sister’s birthday was coming up and that it would be so nice if they remembered to send her a card. Are we starting to see a pattern here? To their credit, both of my sons responded by thanking me for the reminder. I wonder if I would have ever remembered this story if I hadn’t started writing about my mother on the day I was feeling blue about Mother’s Day. Thanks to my own personal therapeutic strategies, I experienced a sort of wake-up call, as well as a nostalgic blast from the past. So I’m starting to be like my mother? Is that really such a bad thing? Perhaps something I need to ponder on this Mother’s Day 2010. . .</div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-56883586026309641522010-04-09T06:52:00.000-07:002010-04-09T07:37:45.367-07:00Financial Planning<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr1jOLN9RUJJ1QNrV0dmW-UYn5LpO8a-XXsxDReTdiL0uGag80-GRCQdpqgTljPamTRn48x7PS7-2Y_OKK1nVt7FlBbQWBrxdPcPtqHd3IkAup7AVqTDr_C1Nc51M6Nd_3rJUtKtmcNcER/s1600/j0411794.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 213px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5458142167225450562" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr1jOLN9RUJJ1QNrV0dmW-UYn5LpO8a-XXsxDReTdiL0uGag80-GRCQdpqgTljPamTRn48x7PS7-2Y_OKK1nVt7FlBbQWBrxdPcPtqHd3IkAup7AVqTDr_C1Nc51M6Nd_3rJUtKtmcNcER/s320/j0411794.jpg" /></a><br /><div>I don’t generally talk about the financial aspects of retirement in this blog because I don't have the expertise to deal with all the complexities of finance. All I can do is to share my own experiences as I prepared for retirement. I knew that it was not safe to leave anything to chance or to make unsubstantiated assumptions about my status when it came to comparing income with expenses. I did my homework and analyzed my finances to see how much money I would need to live on a monthly basis. If you haven’t done that yet, I advise you do it before making decisions about your retirement. It might seem a very un-sexy way to spend a weekend, but it will pay off dividends in the long run.<br /><br />I remember sitting at my dining room table with all of my records of expenses from the past year spread out around me. (I save all bills, for one year, to be referred to for tax purposes when IRS time rolls around.) It was an interesting exercise to see where all my money was going and then to predict how those expenses would change when I retired. Would I still need to spend as much money on clothing? (The answer is no, by the way.) After my first year of retirement, I went back and did a new analysis of spending and found that the areas where I am spending less are clothing, gasoline, and eating-out. The one area where I am spending more is electricity. I suppose that is because I am home all day now and am therefore, logically, consuming more energy, such as using the computer to write this blog.<br /><br />If you haven’t already done so, take an inventory of all your assets: bonds, certificates of deposit, property, mutual funds, IRA’s . Visit with the appropriate personnel where you work to know exactly what your retirement benefits will look like: pension, health insurance, life insurance, etc. Take those annual social security statements very seriously and read them so you understand every word contained in them. How big is the difference in amount of your benefits if you take them at age 62, 66, or 70? And finally, analyze your debts to see how much you can pay off while you are still working and your income level is higher. Ask a financial advisor to be a second pair of eyes for you as you do this research. Read a book by a respected financial expert (Ric Edelman, Suze Orman, et al.).<br /><br />A major question to consider is to ask yourself what your long-term goals for retirement are. Do you have plans for travel or other projects? Do you think you will be spending time volunteering? Would you be interested in taking on a part-time job? Do you have expensive hobbies? What about the issue of your estate planning? Is it important to you that you have money to leave to your children? Do you have long term care insurance? What provisions have you made for yourself if you need nursing home care? Have you talked to your children or other family members about wills and powers of attorney?<br /><br />As I said, talking about finances is not “sexy” but it is unavoidable. So far, I am managing to live in the manner to which I became accustomed for the 34 years that I worked as a school teacher or supervisor in public education. Some of you may be saying somewhat sarcastically right now “Well, that’s not anything to brag about, what with the reputation of salaries in public education.” If so, you would be right and wrong. While I may not have had an income that allowed for excessive spending and buying everything I thought I wanted, I had a more than adequate income for my needs. I had a rich professional life; I always had excellent health insurance; I am guaranteed a life long pension. Teaching and working in public education do have their benefits—some which I did not fully appreciate until I retired.<br /><br />It is impossible to discuss financial planning without touching on one very important aspect of financial maturity, i.e., learning to distinguish the difference between needs and wants. I recommend for your reading a book by Michelle Singletary, business columnist for the Washington Post, <u>The Power to Prosper: 21 Days to Financial Freedom</u>. I tried a 21-day financial fast as recommended in her book. It’s amazing how much less money you spend when you go shopping only when you really need something. For the first time in a year, my credit card bills were low enough that I could fully pay off all bills I had incurred in one month. Try it and see for yourself. </div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-73626784632799495232010-03-29T16:19:00.000-07:002010-07-25T13:08:59.325-07:00Going Back To Work: Things I Learned<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOlUp5lPR2YVHHuemAEA726BY9E0jQT5bX5T-Cv0ey-dKQAb14WpDbWGVoSezCOjYaMy3KOecVR_E1XhLqXxy2B088mAgoAaIV7Yf84vtuZVQl4YdCk16a0d4t2C0Yxd0DURTEIVJPmq0T/s1600/j0446463.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 214px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454204003441275570" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOlUp5lPR2YVHHuemAEA726BY9E0jQT5bX5T-Cv0ey-dKQAb14WpDbWGVoSezCOjYaMy3KOecVR_E1XhLqXxy2B088mAgoAaIV7Yf84vtuZVQl4YdCk16a0d4t2C0Yxd0DURTEIVJPmq0T/s320/j0446463.jpg" /></a>Today, many of our fellow boomers have different approaches to the idea of "work" after retirement. One of my dearest friends has decided that she wants to stay in the field that she worked in actively for 35 years, but now she wants to use her expertise by working as a free-lance consultant. Others I know retire from their jobs, only to start off in another whole new direction by taking on work that is radically different from their earlier chosen vocations. When I retired, I felt the need to leave behind that particular world of work that had been my life-long passion in order to have an opportunity to pursue what some might call less "serious" pursuits and to develop areas of knowledge that remained uncultivated for many years.<br /><br />I did go back to work for about three weeks this winter. My motivations for doing this were to help out my former employer and also to make a little extra cash that might be used either to help finance a trip that I otherwise couldn’t afford or to pay for the unexpected costs of an emergency home repair, i.e., digging up a portion of my front yard to replace a sewage pipe that had become clogged with roots and that caused my washing machine to back up and flood my basement. Isn’t there always something or someone waiting to help us spend our money?<br /><br />My obligation to work was only for about 13 days plus one half day of training and so, even though I had a perfectly dreadful time getting out of bed at 5:30 a.m., I knew that this was only temporary and therefore, I could stand it. However, I was more than a little surprised to find out how totally exhausted I was the first day back to work, working all day, non-stop for seven hours. I guess that tells me something about my new “cushy” lifestyle as a retiree, doesn’t it? I came home that first day and literally crashed. My mind and my feet were numb and I was totally unable to focus on anything more demanding than removing my shoes and my clothes and sliding into my soft, warm, welcoming bed.<br /><br />Eventually, as the days progressed, I was able to leave work and still accomplish personal tasks such as doing some grocery shopping or going out with friends for dinner. In other words, my body did re-adapt to the work environment. And I did earn about $1,600 that will come in handy in accomplishing those home repairs and / or travel plans that I mentioned earlier.<br /><br />Beyond the financial rewards, the more interesting aspect of my return to work is the observation I made of less concrete but equally noteworthy positive outcomes. The first thing I can say is that my brief sojourn back in the work world definitely validated my decision to retire in June 2008. I am so much happier since the burdens of work-related responsibilities have been lifted from my shoulders. The freedom afforded by retirement is one of the greatest gifts I have ever earned and something I have frequently spoken about in this blog. Yes, I definitely enjoyed seeing some of my former colleagues and reconnecting with them on a social level. It was comforting to share in the joy of new babies that had been born as well as in the grief of the loss of family members. We were a team in many ways and I liked the feeling of being a part of a team that is working to make a difference. Retirement is a much more solitary lifestyle. However, I knew immediately that I no longer belonged there in an administrative or supervisory capacity. That was simply too taxing and I felt like I’d been there—done that! What I did enjoy most was the one-on-one contact with the students with whom I was working and the satisfaction of helping them to perform academically. This was a very positive validation of my 34-year career in education and a reminder of the good fortune I had to spend my life working in a profession that I loved.<br /><br /><br />I'm sure that I will go back again next year and put in my three weeks' worth of work (if they still want me); it was satisfying and engaging. But for the remaining 11 1/4 months of the year, I wouldn't trade my retirement for anything.<br /><br /><br />In closing, if you are considering a return to the work environment, I encourage you to think long and hard about your long term goals and the pro’s and con’s of giving up what you now have as a retiree. Share your thoughts and experiences with me and other blog readers if you desire.Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-31294067183309863152010-03-17T06:36:00.000-07:002010-03-29T16:17:13.125-07:00New Friends and Fellow Bloggers<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1mQtEDg5NLtyaB18cmxBpis551MsOdE8w4TwkzLbuT8SVBh9Mt-Qx1ZoEuIU9qM8d0XGiJxvSdtZ2NNoODRRh7SX5E7Nu0nacSL7bty1NsZMtjP_WeFw4Wd7nZGnjBAI6t5gdLoep3Bfj/s1600-h/j0431642.png"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 180px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449987539858915298" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1mQtEDg5NLtyaB18cmxBpis551MsOdE8w4TwkzLbuT8SVBh9Mt-Qx1ZoEuIU9qM8d0XGiJxvSdtZ2NNoODRRh7SX5E7Nu0nacSL7bty1NsZMtjP_WeFw4Wd7nZGnjBAI6t5gdLoep3Bfj/s320/j0431642.png" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW4emERCLC62KEUXa4c_y25N3OzvwZQtzQ6wpVgjdbes2GOSgh0GYy7YYy1DVIBlGbi_vXp-3dfUokIb5hyphenhyphenUSOEINcKmvXOY7bIrofIH-my8ccGKnEzMNu10MnrkkFn6S7Z2L4hjq905Gk/s1600-h/j0431642.png"></a>Congratulate me. It appears that I am now a bona fide member of the digital age networking system of communicators. What is the evidence that allows me to declare such an honor, you may ask? That evidence is the new friends I have made via technology, i.e., through my blog. If you have been reading this blog, you know that readers are invited to share their insights and to provide feedback to the topics that I write about. The essence of blogging is two-fold: to provide an outlet for self-expression and an avenue for communication. To accomplish self-expression, just the pure act of purposeful writing is enough. However, to accomplish the goal of communication, there needs to be meaningful two-way communication with another living human being.<br /><br />It is no surprise to learn that I am not the only retired person out there who has developed a penchant for blogging. However, what is particularly delightful is to find a fellow retiree blogger who shares a very similar perspective on retirement. And, to make the discovery even more delightful is to find a fellow retiree blogger who lives all the way on the other side of the world in Australia. That is one of the exciting outcomes of digital networking. It can and does make the world smaller. Don’t get me wrong. I love all the people who share their comments on my blog (e.g., Swan’s Wing among others). But to find someone from Australia who shares this enthusiasm for the new life that we can create for ourselves in retirement is very rewarding. His blog is titled Paybacktime. Don’t you love that title? This one word captures the way I feel about my retirement. This is the time of life when I get my reward for 34 years of non-stop, hard work and obsessive commitment to my job.<br /><div><br />To review, my initial goals for retirement were to participate in activities that challenged me cognitively, physically and socially. I also included the concept of engagement in a cause that is bigger than myself as being necessary to keep me focused and centered. According to the author of Paybacktime, the mantra for successful retirement can be summed up in three words: purpose, relationships and health.<br /><br />I couldn’t agree more. What he calls a “sense of purpose” could be my own personal mantra for living. Paybacktime also cited research studies which have shown how a sense of purpose can actually lengthen your life—just as participation in physical activity and continued learning have been shown to promote both mental and physical health. I haven’t yet addressed the issue of emotional well-being in my blog, but I refer readers to the latest PBS series on “This Emotional Life” as evidence of the importance of close emotional support as a critical factor in happiness.<br /><br />So, my thanks to Paybacktime in Australia. <a href="http://www.paybacktime.com.au/">http://www.paybacktime.com.au/</a> And my best wishes to everyone reading. May you follow your dreams; get involved; try something new; reach out to a friend; take a walk; and eat well! </div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-47970124977005385392010-02-26T18:11:00.000-08:002010-02-27T11:17:57.954-08:00To Stay Or Not To Stay? To Move Or Not To Move?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijxozCuJVny6uQT5u68iOpWh6L6WEC_5pHMt2A84ZKQyXx5MnuwW1fvJHGqcbp-Han9B0DNIhUI6cGTSULERVTq5BthLYxNpVukLD_iZLSvBoUGTVm3qnS3UQTI-gWNYJdI3OMsGkSbiIJ/s1600-h/337442a%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 290px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 218px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442760461159543330" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijxozCuJVny6uQT5u68iOpWh6L6WEC_5pHMt2A84ZKQyXx5MnuwW1fvJHGqcbp-Han9B0DNIhUI6cGTSULERVTq5BthLYxNpVukLD_iZLSvBoUGTVm3qnS3UQTI-gWNYJdI3OMsGkSbiIJ/s400/337442a%5B1%5D.jpg" /></a><br /><div><div>One of the decisions that retirees eventually face is that of where to live out their golden years. Globally, this "where" can be as varied as staying in the same single family home where you have lived for 25 years; or moving to a retirement community where many of the responsibilities of home ownership can be taken care of in a group setting; or moving to a totally different part of the country, in any sort of community environment. For this posting, the question of "where" will not address congregate living issues—not yet anyway. For today, I’d like to discuss the issue of change of geographic locations. </div><br /><br /><div>Starting with my own personal experience, after down-sizing from a large house with a large yard to a smaller house seven years ago, I am now in the process of upgrading bathrooms and kitchen so that I will be happy and comfortable continuing to remain in my current home for a significant number of years. But I can’t rule out the possibility of a major move for the future. My own parents never left their home until it was time to go to an assisted living facility when they were at the ripe old ages of 88 and 91. However, my in-laws decided early on to maintain two residences: a northern one for the summers and a southern one for the winters--eventually giving up their northern home to live in Florida year-round. They used to take the auto train several times a year to come north and visit us. They had good friends and an active social life in both locations.<br /><br />One of the main reasons people in my part of the country choose to relocate is weather. In my last posting, I talked about the snow blizzard of 2010 that hit the East coast. I have always lived in a climate in which one can fully experience the beauty of the change of seasons. I love the fresh green onset of spring; the plethora of flowers that appear as the seasons change; and the crisp coolnesss as the world changes color in fall. I am accustomed to dealing with snow on a small scale, but the 40 inches we had this year was a challenge. Based on our experience this year, I discovered that one of three things is likely to happen when you awaken to the quiet beauty of 15 inches of newly fallen snow. Either you throw your shoulder out of whack from shoveling the car out of the driveway (like my neighbor); or you pay lots of money to men who are knocking on your door offering to dig you out (like my friend); or if you are as lucky as I happened to be this year, you have a nice neighbor who owns a construction business and who has all the right equipment and who, without being asked, just charges up his machines and removes all your snow for free. I know I can't count on being that lucky forever. My friend in Wisconsin thinks nothing of spending two or more hours at a time shoveling her driveway. But will she be able to fulfill that responsibility when she is 80 years old?<br /><br />As we get older, the extremes of winter become more and more of a challenge. Thus, regions of the US such as Florida and Arizona have become meccas for folks “of a certain age.” Who wouldn’t choose to live in year-round sunshine if given the option? No sidewalks or driveways to shovel; no icy roads to fight; no need to buy snow tires for the car. Don’t you find the spot in the picture above or the beach picture on the sidebar tempting and relaxing? Compare the snow picture with the beach picture. Where would you rather be in December? Wouldn’t this be a good time in your life to explore a completely different natural environment with lakes and rivers teeming with wildlife; or nature reserves and hiking trails full of exotic species of flora and fauna; or desert climates that feature geological formations and historic sites not accessible anywhere else in the world? </div><br /><br /><div>What criteria will you use when / if you are faced with the opportunity to alter your place of residence? After all, you probably stayed where you are now because of your work, right? What’s to stop you from picking up and starting all over in a new location?<br /><br />Besides the weather, there are other important factors to consider when thinking about such a serious change in your lifestyle. </div><br /><br /><div>· What is your financial situation? In this economy, is it plausible to think you can sell your current home and start all over again in the real estate market?<br /></div><br /><div>· What about your family? Where does your major support group live? Do you have grandchildren? Do you have parents or siblings? Do you want to live near them? Do they want you to live near them? </div><br /><br /><div>· How is your health? Would you be better off in a different climate? Will doctors and hospitals be as accessible and reliable as where you live now? </div><br /><br /><div>· Are you happy where you are now? You probably have a strong network of friends and / or family whose emotional support have been helpful to you. Can you really leave behind all those friends and neighbors that have helped you grow and become the person you are? </div><br /><br /><div>· Does it make any difference if you are married or single? Is it easier to meet new people with one marital status than the other? </div><br /><br /><div>· What are your goals for retirement? Are you a golfer? A painter? A writer? Is one location better than the other for your unique goals and lifestyle preferences? Would year-round access to activities such as golfing or tennis be important to you?<br /></div></div><br /><div><div>Obviously, there is no one right way to answer any of these questions. Everyone's answers will vary according to individual circumstances. But the questions are worthy of consideration. According to current figures on average lifespans, you most likely have two or three more decades of living ahead of you. Don't you want to make the best of those years? Moving can be your own wonderful personalized "stimulus package" for change and new opportunities for learning and growth. But it also has the potential for serious financial and emotional consequences if not well thought out.</div><br /><div><br />I hope that readers of this blog will respond and help “unpack” this question. By sharing your own personal experiences, you will be helping others and providing insights far broader and deeper than my own points of view. Phyllis, Mary, Lajuana and Bob, Barry—I hope you will respond and help out on this question.</div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-19766416872075237572010-02-07T10:15:00.000-08:002010-02-07T10:30:44.780-08:00Friends and Neighbors and Snow<div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggYy0eZKjuNXqzndctonN0oxckBKU1ZgUOIko4Vbs49CuoMu655EfZVvfdq9Dcy1SqW0g-hxNJzalr_Pz-sseH0xBsVsyhW5MmL469IgvyfxwDg0JG1qTymtiT2nMJayYF5-uck6CbWkPl/s1600-h/IMG_3756.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435567899345893714" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggYy0eZKjuNXqzndctonN0oxckBKU1ZgUOIko4Vbs49CuoMu655EfZVvfdq9Dcy1SqW0g-hxNJzalr_Pz-sseH0xBsVsyhW5MmL469IgvyfxwDg0JG1qTymtiT2nMJayYF5-uck6CbWkPl/s320/IMG_3756.JPG" /></a><br /><div><div>There are truly generous people in this world. I know this from personal experience. If you know about the blizzard of February 2010, then you know that the picture chosen for this posting is real. You might be thinking right now –gee I’m glad I moved south and don’t have to deal with that kind of mess anymore. (For more pictures and reminders of why you moved away from snow country, check out the pictures on the right side of the blog.)<br /><br />But this posting is not about snow. It’s about the generosity and genuine helpfulness of people when times get tough. It’s about the friends who stopped by to see me after my dad died and brought me gingerbread tea and then sat with me, sharing in the tea and companionship. That was fellowship in the truest sense of the word. It’s about the colleagues who make a generous donation to cancer research after your sister has died—a donation in honor of your love for your sister, but also an expression of love for you because they love you and want to help ease your suffering. It’s about the pregnant niece who walks in the Susan B. Comen walk to help raise funds for the same woman, her aunt, who later died from the disease. It’s about sharing some of your own personal wealth to buy a goat for a poor family in Guatemala or to make a donation to the local food bank or to help the thousands of homeless families in Haiti. And it’s about the neighbor who plows your driveway—not because you asked, but just because he had the equipment and wanted to be helpful.<br /><br />I don’t know what I did to deserve such kindness on the part of my neighbor. Maybe he’s just happy that I’m not a grumpy neighbor. Maybe he’s happy that I take care of my property and that I mind my own business. But deep down I do believe the old adage that “what comes around goes around.” Yes, sometimes those who live a life of good purpose and love toward their fellow man get a raw deal--case in point, my sister-in-law who never hurt a fly but who suffered terribly from the fatal cancer that destroyed her body. How do we explain these situations? We can’t. We accept the unexplainable. We have faith that there is a higher purpose and that we are not always in charge of our lives. There is a higher power at work. And in the meantime, we just go about our lives, doing the best we can, and trying to observe the Golden Rule—“Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” No matter what your religious affiliation, few can argue with this credo.<br /><br />So, I thank my neighbor. I thank my friends who sat with me. I thank my sisters, my brother, my children and friends who accept me for who I am and who help me to be the best person that I can be. I thank everyone who has in some unique way given of themselves to make someone else’s life better.<br /><br />If you have a story to tell about an act of kindness that you observed or that you were a part of, write it down and share it with others. And say a little prayer of gratitude.</div></div></div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-47720285327960189862010-01-28T13:12:00.000-08:002010-01-28T13:31:43.913-08:00Getting Fit Follow-Up<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP5ImZZVldoly_03GDtvVjwbBa-hI9x2uyI6VVspg4iC8AcGB2mXpQM_8fCtkfaPPmBJVzvMhm-eiuEhgInSxJJa8llEwXUfKacAcVah4kJM55HqPxvKBEe929WBLa8aY2wgcI5h5Uj4Pn/s1600-h/j0401149.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 214px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5431903649498745538" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP5ImZZVldoly_03GDtvVjwbBa-hI9x2uyI6VVspg4iC8AcGB2mXpQM_8fCtkfaPPmBJVzvMhm-eiuEhgInSxJJa8llEwXUfKacAcVah4kJM55HqPxvKBEe929WBLa8aY2wgcI5h5Uj4Pn/s320/j0401149.jpg" /></a><br /><div>It’s been a few weeks since I first introduced my fitness plan and I thought I should demonstrate some accountability to my readers and to myself and talk about what progress I have made so far. (No, that's not me in the picture. I wish it were!)<br /><br />First of all, since January 1, I have been much more faithful about going to the gym. My goal is three times a week but I don’t always make my goal. Today I walked 2 miles on the treadmill in about 32 minutes. I had to work back up to this pace because it had been so long since I did any brisk walking. At my current pace walking about 3.8 miles per hour, I burned 170 calories in that 32 minute span of time. I also use the muscle strengthening machines each time I go to the Y. In about 20 minutes, I can hit 8 machines—biceps, triceps, abdomen, lower back, shoulders, thighs, etc. This puts my total time at the Y at just under one hour.<br /><br />For those of you who are a bit timid about going to the gym, here are a few side comments. At my local YMCA, the best time to go to use the exercise equipment, i.e., the time when the gym is the least busy, is around the lunch hour on a week-day. There are people at every level of fitness who are working on any number of fitness goals. There is always a trainer present who can answer any questions you have. Despite what I used to imagine, no one is really looking at me when I am doing my exercises. I used to feel a little self-conscious, but I got over it.<br /><br />So, what do I get for my efforts? Have I lost tons of weight and am I now planning on entering a body-building contest? That is hardly the point. I think I’ve dropped one pound. But, more importantly, my energy level is markedly higher and my muscles are definitely more toned than they were. I know that I am sleeping better at night.<br /><br />The most important criteria for judging the ultimate value of the exercise and food monitoring strategy that I have begun is to ask myself “How do I feel?” For me, the answer is a definite “I feel good!” I fell better physically and I feel better about myself because I am sticking to my goals.<br /><br />Just to recap—I’m a 63-year old woman who has never been a particularly athletic type of person. I just want to feel good and look my best. If I can do it, so can you. Go back and revisit the previous post which talked about the prevention of Alzheimer’s and the book by John Ratey. My favorite quote from John Ratey is the following: "Going out for a run is like a little Prozac and Ritalin. We feel more focused, calm and motivated afterward. The more activity you are doing, the less cognitive decline." </div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-21584980538816632632010-01-12T13:11:00.001-08:002010-02-07T17:18:44.128-08:00Getting Fit (part 2)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_cMJHFpsS_E0gVxoD4Y3Qxdn6DzqRB4pdxstlcAtfTuwUcXkgQHENwMAiPj4YeyvZd563OQftX6_OpHYDFxdnvNQF5L0bJsXpcje_BnM5Kd_HSbq3ujYlWqgOg6zIrb2j_joBsUJOzal/s1600-h/j0444372.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 224px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425970443186918242" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA_cMJHFpsS_E0gVxoD4Y3Qxdn6DzqRB4pdxstlcAtfTuwUcXkgQHENwMAiPj4YeyvZd563OQftX6_OpHYDFxdnvNQF5L0bJsXpcje_BnM5Kd_HSbq3ujYlWqgOg6zIrb2j_joBsUJOzal/s320/j0444372.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Yesterday I made the greatest discovery. Recently I purchased an Iphone--which has much more information than I really need. My daughter-in-law very nicely explained to me the different "apps" that are free. I found one for free NPR podcasts (to listen to while I am on the treadmill at the Y) and another that will help me locate restaurants in any town I might visit in the US (Urbanspoon.) Today I went surfing to see if there was an application to help me track my intake of food each day. And <em>vo</em>i<em>la!</em> There it was. It is a website that will supposedly sync with my computer. The name of the site is <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/">http://www.myfitnesspal.com/</a>.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Several years ago, when I first started noticing the pounds (and inches) creeping up on me (around the age of 48 I think), I started a log of all the foods I ate. Then, I took it one step further and bought several books which gave the number of calories and fat grams in just about any food that I could possibly ingest. It was a lot of trouble at first but it was amazing how just having to write down everything I ate or drank made me so much more aware of how much food I was consuming every day. And then when I started counting up the fat grams, I suddenly became very smart about certain foods that just ooze with butter and fats. One of the foods that I have not touched since I started my own personal campaign against fats is croissants. Never, ever order a sandwich that is on a croissant. Instead, order whole wheat bread. You lose the fat and you gain the fiber. I call that a win-win situation.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>This new way of tracking calories will be so much easier. All I have to do is type in, for example, Ocean Spray Cranberry-Apple Juice or 2% fat milk. The computer looks it up and tells me how many calories, carbs, and fat grams there are in whatever amount of juice or milk I drank that day. I mean, this is going to be so easy. Finally an "app" that is totally beneficial to me. You can also keep track of how much exercise you do every day. The reason why it will be helpful to have access to this information on my Iphone is for occasions when I am dining out and need some quick information to help me make my menu selections. (How's that for justifying the purchase?) Typing in all that food information is a little tedious on the smaller Iphone, so I'll probably do that part of the recond-keeping from home on my PC.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, now that we know that exercise is good for us, not only physically but mentally, and now that we have a way to help us track our consumption of food and to increase our awareness of just what we are eating, we have begun to make strides in the never-ending campaign for better physical health and wellness. Why don't you try it with me! Or share with me your success stories and strategies for staying fit.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Again, the site is <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/">http://www.myfitnesspal.com/</a></div><br /><div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-60854200925714098212010-01-10T18:00:00.000-08:002010-02-07T17:20:15.429-08:00Resolved: To Improve a Poor Track Record<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnebQq72Wz6VnUZrjdISl8E2iDxhYvTZQ90FDjEw9a6LW1sRxJU_35ZizlSnFOPJ-n_Pq_9tmtMeMD3YY3L11dcEQLHmaMKcxk9tqKqkqvlw_ndz1Fkb6qXSPxfC6CsVBl-suwC8XbVKCC/s1600-h/IMG_2696.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425299311879397234" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnebQq72Wz6VnUZrjdISl8E2iDxhYvTZQ90FDjEw9a6LW1sRxJU_35ZizlSnFOPJ-n_Pq_9tmtMeMD3YY3L11dcEQLHmaMKcxk9tqKqkqvlw_ndz1Fkb6qXSPxfC6CsVBl-suwC8XbVKCC/s320/IMG_2696.JPG" /></a><br /><br /><div>New Year’s Greetings to all readers of this blog.<br /><br />Today, January 10, 2010, I went back to the gym after an absence of four months. Does this story sound familiar? YMCA membership for ten years: Average actual use of YMCA-- approximately ten hours per year. In other words, some years, I’m a real go-getter and I go multiple times a week; I use the treadmill; the weight machines; take an aerobics class. Then there are the years where I don’t step foot inside the gym. That’s my “track record” with formal physical exercise. If I include those other activities in life which work off calories and build body muscle, such as gardening, vacuuming, or walking my dog, my score would improve somewhat but nothing to put me in the boot camp category. My motivation to exercise comes and goes, according to what else is going on in my life.<br /><br />The journals are full of articles about how we can retain our cognitive functions, most recently in <strong><em>Time</em></strong> magazine, Jan 18, 2010, “Workouts For Your Brain,” by Bonnie Rochman. I’ve been doing the cross-word puzzles for about ten years. My friends are doing their daily Sudokus. I know folks who are studying a foreign language. Well, the data tell us that in addition to activities like those I just mentioned, two of the most important things one should be doing to remain at top cognitive functioning are to engage in physical activity and to remain socially active.<br /><br />Isn’t that a nice prescription for mental and physical wellness? Take a walk every day and go out with your friends at least three times a week. How hard is that? </div><br /><br /><div>According to the website for Alzheimer’s Prevention, “exercise strengthens the pumping force of your heart, increases blood flow to your brain, increases exercise tolerance, reduces body weight, lowers blood pressure, reduces bad <a href="http://cholesterol.about.com/"><span style="color:#000000;">cholesterol</span></a> (both LDL and total), increases good <a href="http://cholesterol.about.com/"><span style="color:#000000;">cholesterol</span></a> (HDL), and increases insulin sensitivity, all of which enhance health and reduce the risk for diseases that can affect brain functioning, such as <a href="http://heartdisease.about.com/"><span style="color:#000000;">cardiovascular conditions</span></a><span style="color:#000000;">.”</span> <a href="http://alzheimers.about.com/od/prevention/f/physexercise.htm">http://alzheimers.about.com/od/prevention/f/physexercise.htm</a></div><br /><div><br />John Ratey, MD., author of <u>Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain,</u> tells us that exercise stimulates our gray matter to produce “Miracle-Gro for the brain.” If ever I needed to find an excuse for exercising—this is the best one yet. If research shows that people who exercise regularly are less likely to fall victim to dementia and Alzheimers Disease, what more can anyone say to encourage you and me to get out there and walk on the treadmill, or walk the neighborhood with friends, or lift those free weights that have been sitting idle for two years? Just 30 minutes a day is all it takes. After watching the movie <em>Iris </em>last night about Iris Murdoch’s struggle with Alzheimer’s, I know that I would sure like to try some preventive tactics. </div><br /><div>One more quote from John Ratey: "Going out for a run is like a little Prozac and Ritalin. We feel more focused, calm and motivated afterward. The more activity you are doing, the less cognitive decline." <em>Quoted by Simon Usborne on John Ratey website, article “Third Age: Health and Wellness.”</em> <a href="http://johnratey.typepad.com/blog/2008/04/third-age-healt.html"><em>http://johnratey.typepad.com/blog/2008/04/third-age-healt.html</em></a> </div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-30435406662335901962009-11-25T10:33:00.000-08:002009-11-25T11:01:51.897-08:00Response to Time-Management Comment<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqbrzwDDupSaFeSV0d22xjaXgLPUjh0NlfjOz2XubBReMvJDfKvucxYpn7D_s33RmGKef5S5fCWdpPxt40eufYymP6gkSJSuoX1d6k06fn1hjwhIa0KyI8st9gXKm6n-lkXfp0JrZfaCF1/s1600/MCj04315140000%5B1%5D.png"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 144px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 144px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5408112225781457634" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqbrzwDDupSaFeSV0d22xjaXgLPUjh0NlfjOz2XubBReMvJDfKvucxYpn7D_s33RmGKef5S5fCWdpPxt40eufYymP6gkSJSuoX1d6k06fn1hjwhIa0KyI8st9gXKm6n-lkXfp0JrZfaCF1/s320/MCj04315140000%5B1%5D.png" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>In a recent comment, a reader observed that the way we spend our time is a direct reflection of our priorities in life. <br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div>I agree whole-heartedly. It's the same thing with our checkbooks. A long time ago a wise person told me that you can look at the entries in a check register / or on an on-line bank statement and tell what a person's priorities are. Scary thought, isn't it? I am trying to be deliberate about choosing how I spend my time as well as my money instead of letting everyone else choose for me. But it's easy to get caught up in the day to day rush and to forget to stop and ask--is this really what I am meant to be doing now? </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>For example, you will notice that there have been fewer entries on my blog recently. I have gotten drawn into other activities, most of which are what I consider worth-while: helping my sister with a project; preparing for Thanksgiving; serving on a committee in a community-service organization. However, choosing to participate in these activities took me away from my focus and I temporarily lost my drive to write. In some ways I resent that. Does that mean I am being selfish? I have read comments from writers indicating that writing is a solitary and seemingly selfish passion. This aspect of writing would be at odds with who I am as a person.</div><br /><div><br />Right now I have an opportunity to go back to work for a part time job and I am torn. I feel like I haven't had enough of my ME time yet. The minute I go back to work, I will stop focusing on my writing, my reading, my exercising--all of which have been so important for me. I know myself well enough to know that I will throw myself into the job and everything else will become secondary. But wouldn't it be nice to have a few extra thousand dollars to allow me to take a trip next summer? I am wrestling with this dilemma. It has always been hard for me to pass up an opportunity. Any suggestions out there?</div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-26011179124457446252009-10-19T12:52:00.001-07:002009-10-22T14:09:40.240-07:00Valuing the journey as well as the destination OR "What do the ideas of time management and sailing have in common?"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX3MVa5tyHqHcIoybIqyhXYXH0LebO6eW5kCd7WZltaLTv21LJOoPB1w6s-oL7KbHUY3Z0A2KaEpCkPRvE-b6qg6wLAZ6-QqIZpe1dR-0zPoXKLg_Gzir0MkfLvPOm57i812IvP9bVACcR/s1600-h/j0399874%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 214px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394421732195666690" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX3MVa5tyHqHcIoybIqyhXYXH0LebO6eW5kCd7WZltaLTv21LJOoPB1w6s-oL7KbHUY3Z0A2KaEpCkPRvE-b6qg6wLAZ6-QqIZpe1dR-0zPoXKLg_Gzir0MkfLvPOm57i812IvP9bVACcR/s320/j0399874%5B1%5D.jpg" /></a> In my last two postings, I expressed frustration over the fact that I haven’t made any demonstrable progress in reaching my dream goal for retirement, i.e., writing a book. For today, I think instead of beating myself up for not making the progress that I would like to have made, I need to take a more positive approach and look at what I have accomplished since June 30, 2008, the date of my retirement. I also need to get real about how I want to live my life. Again, I return to the question: What does it take for me to feel that I am living a fulfilling, meaningful, life?<br /><br />To review, my initial goals for retirement were to engage in activities that challenged me cognitively, physically and socially. I also included the concept of “engagement” in a cause that is bigger than myself as being necessary to keep me focused and centered. I am very satisfied with my involvement in book study groups that I have joined. They are providing me with both cognitive challenges and social opportunities and I have been thankful for this new opportunity to share and discuss literature. I even served as facilitator at the latest one on John Updike’s <u>Terrorist.</u> The session was a good one and it was clear that my skills as a meeting facilitator, learned and cultivated through many years of leading teacher study groups, combined with my passion for John Updike produced an environment where everyone was comfortable and felt empowered to speak up to share their reactions. I was on a high. I felt I was in my element. What does this tell me about myself?<br /><br />I have made progress on my exercise / physical fitness goals. In terms that can be measured, I have managed to shed a few pounds and have firmed up important muscle groups. I am able to execute the first basic form of Tai Chi. I continue to remain informed about nutrition and take deliberate steps to buy and consume only those foods which are rich in nutrients (and which my son the nutritionist would approve of.) In addition to my book study groups, I have other outlets for social engagement and volunteerism which keep me involved with friends and provide an emotional support system.<br /><br />My commitment to reading groups as my primary vehicle for the pursuit of cognitive challenges derives from two underlying desires, the first being to rediscover the pure joy of sitting down with a good book and entering that other world inhabited by people and situations which reveal universal themes that I can relate to. This is where I find so much real pleasure. Time spent in reading is always time well spent. I am continually learning and growing when I read.<br /><br />The second reason for my determination to be an active participant in my book study groups is to provide myself with an avenue for learning more about what makes good literature. I want to read for pleasure—and then some. I want to read so that I can learn how to write. In that regard, in addition to reading novels, I have researched the writing process and the publishing industry. I love that classic adage written on the classroom walls in 90% of the schools in the division where I worked for 14 years: first learn to read; then read to learn. After all those years of reading to learn how to be a better teacher / how to be a better leader / how to collect and use data to improve instruction, I am now reading to learn how to be a writer. What a treat!<br /><br />I have always been somewhat impulsive and impatient about things that I really want to accomplish. I am susceptible to severe cases of tunnel vision and am able to block out everything that doesn’t directly relate to my goals. Maybe I need to rethink my attitude about where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. Haven’t I been working toward my goal of writing a book by reading and discussing what I’ve read? All of the book studies that I have donehave in fact been leading me up to the point where I will be better prepared to take the first critical steps of writing.<br /><br />As retirees, when we set goals for ourselves, it doesn’t mean that they have to all be accomplished by tomorrow—or by next week—or next month. There is no reason to be as driven as we were when we were working. Instead, what we have identified as goals should serve as a sort of compass, a general direction that we want to follow.<br /><br />To borrow some sailing metaphors from a dear friend, let’s imagine that we are cruising on our sailboat, and we have plotted a general course which will lead to our ultimate destination. Does that mean that we can’t take an occasional side trip to explore a newly discovered cove or marina? Or that we can’t just stop for a day, drop anchor, and enjoy the air, the sun and the water? Aren’t we supposed to enjoy the actual journey? I learned long ago that success and happiness are not measured by being the first to cross the finish line. Success and happiness are measured by how well we live every day and by enjoying the ride every minute as we steer toward our desired destination. For me, this credo should translate into turning every moment that I may perceive as a “distraction” from my long term goal of writing a book, e.g., activities such as meeting friends for lunch or going to the gym, into moments and incidents which will in the long run enrich my life and also broaden my perspective. This is indeed the gift that retirement offers.Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-5813960891780657212009-10-16T17:56:00.000-07:002009-10-16T18:15:42.895-07:00Time Management Part 2<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSW34EcgiwbOCOrzbHFheAY-GZkIC_LDqSH8hxgvc7sUsLqfau1fATvska3j3Gvd3RBsFhse801MU6mOKbTRM_-EvheCiggYqWsM8tE4nI5XekHXzu9Lh2YiQwx1TurGgiLH4GK7QLRPyh/s1600-h/MCj04349290000%5B1%5D.png"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 144px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 144px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393371228970118162" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSW34EcgiwbOCOrzbHFheAY-GZkIC_LDqSH8hxgvc7sUsLqfau1fATvska3j3Gvd3RBsFhse801MU6mOKbTRM_-EvheCiggYqWsM8tE4nI5XekHXzu9Lh2YiQwx1TurGgiLH4GK7QLRPyh/s320/MCj04349290000%5B1%5D.png" /></a><br /><div>Here are all the items on my to-do list:<br /><br />--Finish weeding the garden<br />--Call the man who helps with occasional garden tasks </div><div>to schedule the work to cut back ivy and to prune shrubs<br />--Vacuum the floors in the house and mop up all the spots </div><div>where my dog has either slobbered or piddled on the </div><div>hard wood floors<br />--Grocery shop<br />--Write five sympathy cards<br />--Finish reading the Sunday Washington Post<br />--Begin the photo album from my son’s wedding<br />--Begin the Sister City picture scrapbook for 2009<br />--Go to Ritz camera to develop pictures for above scrapbooks<br />--Organize all the digital picture files on my computer<br />--Read the camera manual for my new digital camera </div><div>in preparation for the digital photography class I have </div><div>signed up for on October 24<br /><br />Well, as much as I like to think of myself as a free spirit, I do still have a need for some order and structure in my life. Otherwise, why would I even have a “to-do”list? I like a neat, clean house and an attractive well-kept yard. I like to have healthy food on hand in my house so that I’m not tempted to snack on unhealthy foods. I am aware that I need to keep myself active socially so that I don’t become a complete hermit. As much as I’d like to just sit on my couch and watch old movies all day long, I know that it is not in my best interest to do so.<br /><br />As I write this list, it becomes clear to me that some of these tasks are the long-term variety (e.g., the photo albums) and some are the one-time, get it done now variety (e.g. vacuum the floors). So, which ones should I tackle today? Do any of them really matter to anyone other than myself? Maybe I need two lists: One for the long-term tasks that need to be worked on in stages and another for the short-term, one time tasks.<br /><br />Maybe it would be helpful for me to have some criteria to help me decide which are the jobs that need to be done now and which ones can wait? For example, have I considered the following?<br /><br /><br />Does this task and its completion affect anyone other than myself? Will I be letting someone down?<br /><br />Have I done my share of physical activity this week? Am I due for a date with the treadmill at the YMCA?<br /><br />Have I thought about my loved ones or about those who I don’t know personally but whose lives might be improved or made more cheerful by a visit or a personal note or participation in a volunteer activity from me? (What about those five sympathy cards that are sitting on my desk and haven’t been written / mailed yet?)<br /><br />How will I feel at the end of the day if I do (or do not) complete this chore? Will I feel really satisfied? How much satisfaction does this particular obligation provide me anyway? Do I really need to serve on that committee? Am I over-obligated?<br /><br />What have I done for myself lately? What have I done for others?<br /><br />For today, just by asking myself these questions, I see that I really ought to get out those sympathy cards. Of all the jobs I have already procrastinated on, that is one job that could make a small difference in the life of a grieving friend. So maybe that’s the one to start with. And on the way to buy / mail the cards, I can stop at the grocery store for the few items I need in order to keep a healthy, well-balanced food pantry in my house. The remaining items don’t seem as pressing. Well—at least I got through this one day. Tomorrow, I’ll do a re-evaluation and start the process all over again.</div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-13660526412343466052009-10-16T17:27:00.000-07:002009-10-22T14:11:36.069-07:00Time Management<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJhmgePoEQLgFf8t74B-r4s5l7oOJEJcmAeNYETDPyXDFTJLYsCHH_z0Dwe8Gq4a0_00WitYWmxlPFWS54P35l8FACbRy1g0kQNkvLQUKwxryinQwBNuqOQGcN1ZT4_ZiN58S3H0Ol_qt/s1600-h/MCj04326640000%5B1%5D.png"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 180px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393362824287025778" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJhmgePoEQLgFf8t74B-r4s5l7oOJEJcmAeNYETDPyXDFTJLYsCHH_z0Dwe8Gq4a0_00WitYWmxlPFWS54P35l8FACbRy1g0kQNkvLQUKwxryinQwBNuqOQGcN1ZT4_ZiN58S3H0Ol_qt/s320/MCj04326640000%5B1%5D.png" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrdRG9gaLQHDha3Jn8Z_8y-HheuYyL4GlrEoVNcDP9J8pzjeQiva3SdasO8wnTne2krvmHk_ag-nIX-58vlHCVE06VWMZwWlmkSmco86pxTaoYlXzgNb4IZ_2JhyQaf8WDbCIEB_Fl-X7/s1600-h/MCj04326640000%5B1%5D.png"></a><br /><br /><div align="left">True / False<br />Retirees have no problems with time management.<br /><br />How did you answer this question?<br />Let’s analyze the statement.<br /><br /><br />The answer must be True, right? How can anyone who is retired have problems with time management? As a retiree, I now have more free time than I have ever had in all of the 63 years of my life. I can set my own schedule every day. I don’t have anyone else’s expectations to meet on a daily basis. I am the master of my castle; the captain of my ship. How could there be any problems with time management?<br /><br />In all truthfulness, for me, the answer to this question is False. This issue of time management has been an unexpected challenge for me as a retiree. With all this new-found free time, suddenly the immediate priorities are no longer as clear as they were when I was working 40 + hours per week. In my prior life as a professional working woman, if the only time I had free to do yard work was on the weekend, that’s when I did it. When the time was limited, the choices for how to spend it were easier and more obvious. I am still in awe of myself when I remember how much I used to accomplish on one day of a weekend when I was working and had young children. In one Saturday I would get up early, go to the grocery store; return home by 10 a.m. to take my boys to a soccer game; return home again and prepare lunch for everyone; work in the yard or do laundry in the afternoon; cook dinner and maybe even go out with a group of friends for a few hours in the evening. Sundays were full of church, Sunday School, family dinner, taking the boys to a park or a museum, preparing lesson plans and grading papers.<br /><br />Heck, these days, I’m lucky if I am even up and dressed by 10:00 a.m. especially now that the weather is turning colder and the temptation to stay in my warm, cozy bed is so hard to resist. It’s very easy to get drawn into the momentary pleasures of my day to day existence and to prolong the time I spend on them. It’s equally easy to put off tasks that may be on my daily checklist. (Wait till I show you my checklist—remember I said I am a type A personality?) After all, there are no deadlines to meet; no one other than myself cares if this or that job gets completed or not. In fact, isn’t this one of the rewards of retirement? Why am I even worrying about this? As I said, who cares if certain jobs do or do not get done?<br /><br />If you had asked me about time management one year ago, I would have told you that you were crazy for even asking the question. Time management was not an issue for me because, as I happily told my friends when they asked me what I was planning to do in my retirement, my sole purpose in retirement was to do “whatever I damn well please.” I went blissfully from one activity to the next. I had rid my life of all the “shoulds” and was only concerning myself with what felt right for the moment. Now that I am entering the second year of my retirement, surprisingly I find that I am getting a little frustrated with myself because I have so much trouble making up my mind about how to spend the day. Some days there are multiple things that I want to do but I can’t decide which one to do first. And then there have been a few evenings when I have asked myself, <em>What have you accomplished today? What about that novel that you said you were going to write when you retired?</em> I am reminded that the greatest gift of retirement is time and that the gift of time is precious. <em>What do I have to show for my time?<br /></em><br />Let me give you an example. I am looking at my calendar for October. Instead of nice clean empty squares for the 31 days of this month, my calendar is riddled with activities such as the following: foot doctor appointment for me; mammogram for me; flu shot and shingles shot for me; grooming appointment and rabies shot for my dog; lunch date with a friend; Elder Study classes or curriculum meetings; book study groups; exercise classes; walking dates with friends; a digital photography class; wine-tasting with Sister City; visiting my niece and her new baby; serving dinner at the Homeless Shelter; and appointments for minor home repairs. It’s like an average of one event per day. </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">This is all good stuff; these are activities I signed up for and that I can cancel if I don’t want to attend on any given day. Many of these are activities that I would not have had time for prior to my retirement. But where is that long span of uninterrupted time when I can seriously tackle starting to write a chapter for my book? Am I “nickleing and diming” myself instead of saving up precious energy and time for the big, important things?<br /><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Any suggestions out there on time management? What does your calendar look like?</span></div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-28319852638725888162009-09-19T12:55:00.000-07:002009-09-27T06:38:48.346-07:00Retirement--a POWERful Experience in Rewiring<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3NvHgR4tlCaVOnTSsINdCWdJebpeAKfYieOmWGEWUMtxOhJpjbLKpGEb3DzsJmhiZ4783AlV1Qb7U8sGV4DlLglbIVqt_BM66xedkj9c9pMrvd_WiuHQ1v8DUsjZZQWxccCL4Tf2HGyw/s1600-h/j0341604.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 228px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386138167019485458" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3NvHgR4tlCaVOnTSsINdCWdJebpeAKfYieOmWGEWUMtxOhJpjbLKpGEb3DzsJmhiZ4783AlV1Qb7U8sGV4DlLglbIVqt_BM66xedkj9c9pMrvd_WiuHQ1v8DUsjZZQWxccCL4Tf2HGyw/s320/j0341604.jpg" /></a><br /><div>In a recent AARP Magazine article, Yakov Smirnof, comedian and writer, points out that in retirement “you are approaching a time in life when you can not only choose the games you wish to play but also write your own rules and be a winner every time.” (May-June, 2009, p. 18)</div><div><br />Wow, that’s a liberating thought, isn’t it? Life without rules. Do what you want. No more following directions and fulfilling everyone else’s expectations. For the majority of our lives, we have been following rules and fulfilling expectations that were set for us, first by our parents, then by our families, and then by our jobs. There didn’t seem to be much time for anything else. In fact, time was a most precious commodity and there was never enough to go around.<br /></div><br /><div>Do you know what a fuse box and retirement have in common? Let’s examine for a minute these two very different concepts. What is the purpose of a fuse box? With apologies to my electrician friends, in novice terms, let me just say that the fuse box brings power into your home and then distributes it to the various sites where it is needed. Wires connecting the fuse box lead directly to kitchen appliances, electronic equipment, lights, cooling and heating systems, among other things. Some appliances need more powerful fuses than others, and the electrician is the expert who selects the appropriate fuses and hooks up the wires as needed.<br /><br />Think of yourself as a source of energy, similar to the panel of fuses in your house. For the past thirty (plus or minus) years that you have been working, you divided up your energy among the various demands of your life. If, like me, your priorities centered around family and work, the majority of your energy went toward satisfying the needs and demands of those two areas of your life. You as an individual were wired for certain behaviors and recurring tasks. Now, take away that job, take away those children who have probably moved out, and you are left with a very large source of energy that has nowhere to go. It’s just sitting there unused.<br /></div><br /><div>If this is the case, it would appear that a new retiree might need a little rewiring. Just as a brick and mortar building needs to be rewired periodically to update all of the electrical connections as a house is modernized, we often hear this word “rewiring” used to describe a person who is going through a major life change and who will need a whole new set of skills and renewed perspectives to cope with the future that he / she is facing.I like this metaphor to describe the changes that I have been experiencing during the past year. For the majority of my life, my priorities were family and work. The majority of my electrical circuits had their origins in the fuses governing these two areas of my life and provided the power for me to perform the functions needed to successfully cover those areas of my life. However, the hard-learned skill-sets, talents or modes of thinking that I have cultivated for 34 years and that earned me a certain degree of success and a reputation for reliability in my work may no longer be needed or even applicable for the decisions that I will be making today.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>As a parent and an educator, there were many rules I had to live by. These rules determined to a large extent the way I was wired. They guided my choices and the way I carried out my responsibilities. Be strong. Be a good role model. Be fair. Be consistent. Be organized. Be patient. Be generous. Be knowledgeable. Use your time wisely. Be enthusiastic. Be creative. Be a good listener. Be a team player. Do your best. </div><br /><div><br />At first, the thought of entering a realm of “no rules,” creates a sense of excitement and we think this thing called retirement should be a cake walk! If there are no rules, I can’t make any mistakes, right? Well, imagine a classroom teacher coming in on day one of school and announcing to her students that there will be no rules in this class this year. Can you imagine the chaos and the uncertainty?<br /><br />In fact, being rewired for a system where there are no rules puts a greater responsibility on ourselves and makes us face our own set of values. All of a sudden, instead of living up to everyone else’s expectations for ourselves, we have only to live up to our own. But do we even know what they are?If never before, retirement is a time for a thorough re-examination of our own priorities. Retirement is a gift that we have earned. It is the gift of rest, recuperation, reflection and recreation. It is a time to explore, discover, listen, watch, and experiment. For me personally, I have asked myself things like--<em>What makes me tick? Am I someone who needs constant interaction with other people? Or do I thrive on the quiet times sitting cozily on my sofa with my cat and dog nearby reading the latest selection for my book club or watching a classic movie on TCM? What will it take for me to feel good about myself today? What does it take for me to feel good about myself on any day? What are my own standards for happiness? For success? For fulfillment? Are there some areas of my life that have been left “in the dark” because of the responsibilities I had but that could still be there waiting to be brought into the light?<br /><br />What about taking care of myself physically? Don’t I owe it to myself to stay healthy so that I won’t be a burden to my children or my siblings in later years? What about the greater role that I could be playing in my community? What skills do I have that might be helpful to someone else? What are my dreams? Do I have the drive and commitment I’ll need to attain those dreams? </em><br /><br />What about you? Have you thought about rewiring for retirement? What will guide your thinking and your actions as you move forward into your sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond?</div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-92033502634380201292009-09-08T11:22:00.000-07:002009-09-08T11:43:06.554-07:00Yakov Says . . . Make Your Own Rules<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbaPQ0-dvU6R4tE9bYz3GCS_LMwTgkRZO487TcleBsggcS4s2voThzCFnzteGgTjOS4dc7kBaw1X35GZEHHlsR0pr5yZxYNsxI91nxXgB_788bXtgwczSyxccVOB7Xa9iY32TOYDd-kLPs/s1600-h/j0236304.gif"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 56px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 80px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379164306415986450" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbaPQ0-dvU6R4tE9bYz3GCS_LMwTgkRZO487TcleBsggcS4s2voThzCFnzteGgTjOS4dc7kBaw1X35GZEHHlsR0pr5yZxYNsxI91nxXgB_788bXtgwczSyxccVOB7Xa9iY32TOYDd-kLPs/s320/j0236304.gif" /></a><br /><div>In response to a question from a reader who expressed terror at the prospect of a future after retirement and the lack of structure provided to her life by work and raising a family, Yakov Smirnoff, comedian and writer, wrote the following in the AARP Magazine (May/June 2009, p. 18):<br /><br />Here is the short version of the question:<br /><br /><span style="color:#663333;"><em>“I keep obsessing about the inevitable day when I’ll have no job responsibilities. I feel as if my life is shrinking. How do I find my passion again?”<br /></em></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"><em><span style="color:#6600cc;">“You are approaching a time in life when you can not only choose the games you wish to play but also write your own rules and be a winner every time. You’ll finally have the time and the freedom to experiment and play, with hobbies and new occupations that interest you. What do you really love to do—I mean, besides your job? What energizes and excites you? Even though you may still have quite a few working years left, it’s not too early to get a jump-start on working toward making yourself a winner.”</span></em><br /></span><br />Yakov Smirnoff has captured so well in this short answer a healthy and hope-filled perspective toward retirement that I happen to share with him. This is just one sample of the type of article available to you as a member of AARP. If you haven’t already discovered the wealth of information made available by AARP (American Association of Retired Persons), I suggest that you go to your computer right now and look it up on the internet to find out how to join. Like me, you might be thinking—I’m not that old! How can I be ready to subscribe to AARP? Isn’t that something for my parents or my grandparents? Well, guess what friends. You are your parents! If you are following this blog, chances are you are old enough to qualify for membership in AARP. Check it out. <a href="http://www.aarp.org/">http://www.aarp.org</a></div><div> </div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-14007732633768925772009-09-04T12:08:00.001-07:002009-09-20T09:53:03.160-07:00Family Legacies<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGfkn1bNNMwxA-5QEiSoqy6D_nf9j-bvbJ5oIMjNbp4PY5PyWIxUwFIYKK9gs2p0nnsC1tG6fmEtPbAEYh7yTJzhk-AsTZ8TZ1NMa_U9vTps-U3IwbLxNO0GiCw9edEFDgIYOm1YdYD1cX/s1600-h/Mom+and+Dad+1937.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 159px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377692134259805714" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGfkn1bNNMwxA-5QEiSoqy6D_nf9j-bvbJ5oIMjNbp4PY5PyWIxUwFIYKK9gs2p0nnsC1tG6fmEtPbAEYh7yTJzhk-AsTZ8TZ1NMa_U9vTps-U3IwbLxNO0GiCw9edEFDgIYOm1YdYD1cX/s200/Mom+and+Dad+1937.JPG" /></a><br /><div>In my last posting, I wrote about my father and our collaborative exercise of looking back over his life to identify the significant episodes in each decade of his 95 years. Just seven days ago marked the fifth anniversary of my mother’s death, which provoked more reminiscences on my part. Coincidentally, last week also marked the death of Senator Ted Kennedy. The news media is full of articles and editorials about the Kennedy Legacy—in particular, the legacy of public service. Then there are the poignant stories about Ted the dad encouraging his son after his leg amputation and Uncle Teddy, the father-figure for the whole Kennedy clan after so many of the fathers of the family had met with violent deaths. The responsibilities on this man’s shoulders were enormous.<br /><br />As a follow-up to the exercise I did with my Dad, in today’s posting I’d like to write about some of the legacies left to me by my parents <em>(pictured above soon after their marriage in 1936)</em> and about how they impacted my life. I don’t have to look very far to identify the foremost legacies left by my mother and father. For my parents, it was clear that family was the number one priority. How do I know this? Did they tell me? I don’t remember that either parent ever actually verbalized to me what they valued and why they lived their life the way they did. Even if they didn’t spell it out for me, I’d know because they lived it. I can tell you about the car trips to holiday celebrations when we gathered at either my mom’s or my dad’s family homes in West Virginia. This is where we got to know our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and also where we got to observe what our family represented. During these family events, we children learned how to sit quietly and listen to our elders talk, contributing to the conversation and sharing our latest adventures when we were asked questions. We knew that we were expected to be there and that we were expected to display proper manners and behavior. This was part of the privilege and the responsibility of being a member of the Saville family.<br /><br />In addition to these holiday times, there were the weekly Sunday rituals when we attended church as a family and then returned home to gather around the dining room table and share our traditional Sunday dinner, usually pot roast with potatoes, carrots and onions—always preceded by saying the blessing and followed by the clean-up. On Sundays as on every evening of the week, we were all expected to be there for dinner, and to help out by setting the table and clearing up after the meal. One of our favorite family memories and shared images is of the four children, lined up in front of the kitchen counter, the youngest standing on a step stool, each with an assigned task for the week—washing, rinsing, drying or putting away the dishes. This image speaks volumes about what it meant to be a member of the family.<br /><br />And then there were the very clear expectations that we would all work hard in school; that we would go to college; and that we would prepare for a profession so that we would be able to support ourselves, boys and girls alike, and so that we would be able to make positive contributions to our communities. From my mom, we got the high expectations for performance. From my dad, we got the work ethic that meant you stuck with a job until it was done and done well.<br /><br />All of this, we got within the first two decades of our lives—mainly through the power of observation and assimilation as we watched our parents move through their lives. These formative years of my life were spent in the safety and protection of a loving family. There was church, Girl Scouts, 4-H, piano lessons and a whole score of other healthy, wholesome activities. The most incredible aspect of all this is that in addition to teaching their 4 children these life-long lessons, my parents were both pursuing careers which made them valued and respected members of the larger community. We learned that it is possible to raise a family and at the same time to do your professional job and to do it well. We did not see an attitude of “I work from 9-5 and don’t ask me to do anymore.” Rather, we saw “You do what it takes to excel and to be the best teacher / public servant that you can be. Mediocrity is not an option.”<br /><br />I look at my own life as a working parent, and I see the same patterns of parenting combined with pursuit of a career. I tried to teach my children to be engaged in life from an early age; to participate in worthwhile activities; to respect and to be helpful to others; and to value learning. I’m not sure how well I carried out the high expectations part. I know that at some level I was always afraid of putting excessive pressure on my own children to live up to MY expectations, something which I saw too often among the students and families where I taught. As for myself, let’s just say that “achievement-oriented” is my middle name. Remember, I said I am a <span style="color:#cc0000;">type-A</span> personality. Need I say more?<br /><br />There were certainly many challenges along the way for me, both in parenting and in marriage. Some of these challenges would have made my parents cringe if they had known about them. My children knew how to push buttons that my parents didn’t even know existed. Somewhere along the way I learned the lesson of persistence—maybe to a fault. I never gave up—on my children, on my marriage or on my career—even when the road was so rocky that, if I had been in a horse and buggy, I would certainly have been thrown out of the cart. On those occasions, to continue the metaphor, I guess you could say that I stepped out of the cart to lighten the load, or to help lift the cart over the rocks, and then kept on walking or riding until I reached the desired destination. Like Paul Harvey, to tell the rest of the story, I must add that ultimately, my marriage ended in divorce. After 27 years, my husband decided to pursue a lifestyle that did not include me. Because of the high expectations I had always had for myself, this divorce was one of the greatest disappointments in my life. But, I have adjusted and moved on. (More on this topic at a later time.)<br /><br />So, here I am, age 63, and basically I am still living my life in accordance with that legacy left to me by my parents, in addition to a few on-the-job lessons I learned the hard way. Parents have the potential for so much influence on their children. I wonder if my parents knew to what degree each of those daily acts and decisions would eventually influence the direction in my life. <span style="color:#993399;">At any age, it’s a good question to ask —what legacy am I leaving to those that follow me? How will I be remembered? </span></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-72887149248412743672009-08-27T13:46:00.000-07:002009-10-22T14:13:11.405-07:00An Exercise in Looking Back<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4lBSg8lhsfq0QMc0azB3j2Wx6nn2OoF_8Kqq2IG5QHT2cQaPE3WgV3GW3IfoRVGoXmT-n5vKffDtVnbmGHndN9MGQ62Mr2_V4PEVj1QBUkSzpyCaatRqQVnvh_HlIOaIKI7OB2OjQUxFv/s1600-h/IMG_0331.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383286397760971874" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4lBSg8lhsfq0QMc0azB3j2Wx6nn2OoF_8Kqq2IG5QHT2cQaPE3WgV3GW3IfoRVGoXmT-n5vKffDtVnbmGHndN9MGQ62Mr2_V4PEVj1QBUkSzpyCaatRqQVnvh_HlIOaIKI7OB2OjQUxFv/s320/IMG_0331.jpg" /></a><br /><div><div><div>As we age, we unconsciously follow in our parents’ footsteps in so many ways. I have been fortunate to have had parents who served as good role models to me in almost every aspect of my life. My parents entered a wonderful retirement / continuing-care community at the ages of 89 and 93. After they had been there for one year (and coincidentally three months before my mother passed away), my mother requested that all of the siblings (her four children) come to their new home to participate with her and my dad in a one day workshop designed to help the “over 80 crowd” find meaning in their twilight years. None of us knew that my mother was so near the end of her life. She was a wise and somewhat sly woman. Somehow, in her wisdom or intuition, she knew that this would be a good way for us all to spend some meaningful and quality time together. As children, we took turns working with our parents on various assigned activitites. One of the most rewarding activities of that day was sitting with my father, helping him to recreate a timeline of his life. In particular, we looked at his life by decades, and reflected upon the major events and meaningful memories of his life as a husband, father and professional.<br /><br />According to the workshop leader, instead of focusing on our aches and pains and all those things that our bodies may no longer be capable of doing, this is the time in our life to focus on our spiritual lives. If we are lucky enough to maintain our cognitive functioning, we can use this time for reflection and for examination of our inner life, something that we may have been too busy to spend much time with in the earlier years. More than once, after my dad began his physical decline when he was well into the latter part of his tenth decade, he kept asking us or wondering aloud, “I just wonder why God is keeping me alive. I wish I knew what the purpose is.”<br /><br />My father was a hard worker, a highly respected man in the community, a very selfless person who would have considered it not only egotistical but a waste of time to spend time thinking about himself. What a pleasure it was to have those few hours to sit with him and to help him make a timeline of his life. It was hard for him because it just was not in his nature to focus on himself. I had to keep reminding him that God was keeping him with us so that he would have this time to be mindful of where he had made contributions; to look for patterns in his life; and to prepare himself for the life to come.<br /><br />Dad had always liked to reminisce about growing up on the farm; about the sacrifices his family made by sending him to high school; about his life at the university when he worked on a dairy farm and also made the wrestling team. He told us how there was no time for fooling around on the farm and that his dad, my grandfather, never allowed any “monkey-business,” as he used to call it.<br /><br />As we looked back on my dad’s life, it’s true that there was very little “monkey-business.” He was reminded of the many young men he had mentored as a 4-H leader; of the multitude of mutual acts of kindness and devotion he had shown to and received from his own four children and 5 grandchildren; and of the love of his wife for 60 years. My dad never expected anything in return for all he did to help his family, friends and community. There was no doubt to me that the world was a better place because of his presence. Of course, in his typically modest way, he never acknowledged any of this to me or to anyone. But, in my heart, I like to think that he got a glimpse of his real value and that he took time to be thankful for his own gifts.<br /><br /><span style="color:#993399;">If you are wondering how to spend that empty day in your retirement, why not try the same exercise? Map out your life in decades. Ask yourself what were the formative experiences of those decades that helped make you who you are today. You will probably laugh, cry and be astonished at all the marvelous memories that come flooding back.</span></div></div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8556471341762572999.post-14428721105817019622009-08-23T14:22:00.000-07:002010-02-07T17:22:21.493-08:00Good advice from an expert<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJPA1zDvpwMcUzuRRVaNuceubbpc6FSTMYlk0nKvgYijrmpAnLVQTG_t-hZ8xpUKmvwr4ygchW5vzAp07d3ph7xa4eSX17MIuooG8tnTywdSvUC3BW1w8275tLmFh0a9daIX-3fxopfNSX/s1600-h/IMG_2571.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5373334189128049266" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJPA1zDvpwMcUzuRRVaNuceubbpc6FSTMYlk0nKvgYijrmpAnLVQTG_t-hZ8xpUKmvwr4ygchW5vzAp07d3ph7xa4eSX17MIuooG8tnTywdSvUC3BW1w8275tLmFh0a9daIX-3fxopfNSX/s320/IMG_2571.JPG" /></a><br /><br /><div>One of my favorite quotes from Gail Rentsch's book <u>Smart Women Don't Retire--They Break Free,</u> is the following: "<span style="color:#990000;">For instance, if you are a type-A personality, leave blocks of unscheduled time in your calendar for just daydreaming or doing whatever pops into your mind, and avoid making plans in advance to fill that time." </span>(Rentsch, p. 124)</div><br /><br /><div>This advice speaks to me. After 34 years of never having a moment to even think about daydreaming, I love the fact that someone with expertise is telling me that it's okay to have some days where you don't have your calendar filled. It's okay to have the downtime. One of my best daydream times is the period in the morning, after I have first awakened. Because I have a cat and a dog, I am obliged to get up early and feed / take them out. But then, if it's really an ungodly hour (i.e., for me anything before 7 a.m.), I go back to bed and do some of my best daydreaming, or as I like to call it "fuzzy thinking." I sometimes write whole paragraphs in my head or imagine whole conversations that characters in a novel might speak.</div><br /><br /><div>During the summer, another time I engage in very productive daydreaming is when I am stretched out on my new chaise lounge on the screened-in deck on the back of the house, surrounded by tall oaks, listening to the quiet sounds of summer. Today was a perfect 80 degree low-humidity day. The silence of a warm summer day always puts me in a mood where I feel in touch with my surroundings. The crickets were chirping; the lawn mowers were humming; the birds were singing. It doesn't get much better than that. </div><br /><br /><div>When I was working, it was rare that I could spend part of my Sunday engaging in such "non-productive" behavior, actually enjoying some of the nicer aspects of my home. I have always been a Type-A personality and I'm still haunted by that achievement-oriented side of myself that whispers to me "What did you do today that was productive?" "What did you do to make the world a better place?" </div><br /><div>Today I can answer that question very honestly and not feel guilty: I went to church. I sat on the porch and meditated. I read several chapters in one of the books on my reading list. I wrote on my blog. </div><br /><div>Signing off and waiting to hear from you . . .</div><br /><br /><br /><div></div>Margarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05795630136544055111noreply@blogger.com1